An Open Letter to McDonald's

Dear McDonald's Corporation,

Since 1981, your company, McDonald's has been trying to get the world to eat the abomination of a sandwich you call the McRib.

It was a dismal failure the first go round so you quietly pulled this puppy from the lineup in 1985.
4 YEARS you had tried to turn a profit on this concoction of a ground pork patty, bbq sauce, raw onions and pickles on a bun.
Just makes my mouth water typing that......
Wait! I lie.....NO it doesn't.

And instead of taking heed of the world's lack of love for this sammie, you, McDonald's, have brought it back sporadically in some form or another to grace your restaurant menus for the last 25 years.
25 years.....haven't we all suffered enough already?!
And now it's back again.....just in time for Oct. 31st....like a very bad Halloween prank gone wrong!

All that money on marketing wasted with no profits produced.
All that "food" produced that you end up not needing since the demand for this product is nil.
By the way, what do you do with all that food when you yank the McRib from your menus?
On second thought, don't tell me....it will only make me throw up a little in my mouth.

The McRib has had more Farewell Tours than the Who.
Of the two, I think Peter Townsend looks better than the McRib for the wear.

And another thing......
Pickles?
Pickles on a bbq sammie?!?

I grew up in the South and take my word for it, McDonald's executives, because sauce runs through my veins.....
No self-respecting Southerner would put pickles on a bbq pork sandwich!
Ok, maybe Uncle Cleatus' third cousin Bubba who got kicked in the head by a mule when he was a kid.
And maybe those immigrant Cuban folks in Florida but that's a totally different pork sandwich and Florida is NOT the South. ;-)

So take my advice and just take the McRib out to the woodpile and put it and us out of our misery please!
You know what a woodpile is don't you McDonald's?...it's that thing next to the Smokehouse and the Barbecue Pitt where real chefs cook/smoke real pigs before they put that real meat between a bun.

A little coleslaw on a real bbq sandwich is optional but definitely not pickles.

I think the McRib needs to go toward the light this time and stay there!
It would be in the best interests of our planet and mankind.
Stomachs across our world will thank you for your humanitarian efforts.

Sincerely,

Sluggy, G.R.I.T.S.*

*Girls Raised In The South