Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Kids and Money

SonyaAnn posted yesterday about her car insurance woes.
Her post was very timely to me, since we are going to be making some big changes in my family soon that will involve vehicles and insurance.

After our 3rd car-the one the kids used to get around in-was totaled last May, we didn't replace it.
At that time, #1 Son was finishing up his 2nd year of college and not home, Daughter was going to be attending college that Fall for the first time(so she no longer would be living at home and needing the car for work or school)and #2 Son was still almost a year away from turning 16 and being eligible to get his learner's permit.
So we didn't replace the car last year.

We put the money we got for the totaled vehicle, last May, aside and Hubs added the little bit of cash he got from his mother's estate with it and we planned to find a $5K or so "beater" car for #2 Son to learn on and use while he finishes high school.

Now let's throw a monkey wrench into the plan.

Daughter has been having second thoughts about her career path.
Ok, a bit more than second thoughts.  After finishing up her first semester at college with a 3.80 grade pt. average, and  after doing a job shadowing with our family doctor over Winter break, and after having her interview at the medical school that her college has a program with and passing that interview so that now she is guaranteed a seat in the medical college when she graduates with her Biology degree, after another 3 years of school, she has decided that she no longer wants to be a doctor.  She told her father and I this after she went back for her 2nd semester the end of January.

I was disappointed that she didn't even finish out the first year before deciding to do a 360 degree turn in her plans.  But it's her life, right?  We told her to slow down and not do anything hasty, but a couple weeks after returning to school, she had changed her major to education and found a new adviser in that dept.
So she suddenly is very sure she no longer wants to be a doctor and she is suddenly just as very sure that she does want to be.......a science teacher.
She says she has had this idea in the back of her mind for a very long time, however this was the first time we, her parents, have heard Daughter voice this career path.

Not to get into much detail here, but currently Daughter had abandoned the Teaching thing and is rethinking her life and may be moving back home after her 1st yr. of college is over.

Basically after having a meltdown at school she wants to finish up the year and come home.
Now she is talking about going into Engineering at this point and transferring to someplace close to home and living at home and commuting to school.  But it's not a 4 year degree in Engineering, she is talking a 2 year Associate degree and/or Job Training to be a engineering the kind that comes to your house and fixes your electrical wiring or some kind of mechanical engineering.

The bottom line is though she is real good at being a student and taking tests, etc. she does NOT want to do it for any longer than she has to.  She wants to get out there and work with her hands AND her mind.
At least that's what I am hearing this week.....

Not sure if her new educational plan will pan out or if it's just another "idea" that she is trying on, but I do know that she'll be moving back home for now.  I have suggested that if she doesn't know what she wants to do yet, to get a job and work for a year and take some time to think hard about what to do next.

One thing for sure though.....she'll be living here and she'll need a vehicle to get to work and/or school.

So now I have to figure out if SHE needs to buy the car in her own name and have her own insurance policy or if we need to buy another car and keep her on our policy(and she can make car payments to us once she gets a job).

And where does all this leave #2 Son and his needing a vehicle to get his first part time job?.....driving himself to all his band rehearsals and performances?......driving to a local college in another year if he participates in the High School program where Seniors take college courses?

Paying for 5 cars and 5 drivers on our car insurance policy plus all that gas and maintaining all those cars?
Just kill me now......



  1. Oh sluggy, my life your life. We have 4 cars and four drivers. I am anxious to get the 2nd daughter off our policy. Our youngest just came home with her bomb idea also. Could it be that your daughter who is obviously very intelligent is lonely? We have just figured out that this is our B's biggest problem. To keep her on her career path we are going into a different housing situation. I feelsorry for these kids whom we expect to have their lives all planned out when they are 18. It is not fair to them. They should be able to change their minds and change their minds again. But because of the cost of school we want them to know instantly and choose a path that will make money. Not always the best choice for the child. Good luck, when you figure it out will you let me know how to do it?

  2. Oh baby girl, are you drinking yet?
    Those kids will make you nuts. And I think that we gave birth to the exact same children.
    I think that your daughter needs to talk to my daughter. I will give you her number if you want. Anna had a HUGE meltdown-as in I had to go get her. She almost quit college a few times. As hard as it is, try and figure out if it is school or if she is homesick. I would try to keep her in college tho.
    As for the car-Hell if I know. I say buy one car and see if you can't work something out between them so they can share. Just work into it slowly. Who wants it over quickly? You want to be screwed by the insurance company for a long time? And no Vaseline for you.

  3. Oh Lord, I couldn't do it! you're a stronger woman than I sluggy! I wouldn't even have enough room to PARK all of those cars and I'd be so worried that someone would have an accident and total their car (again). I've had that happen once too and it was so stressful.
    Good luck to you and're gonna need it!

  4. If she does not like the dorm life, maybe there is something she is not telling you that has nothing to do with what she wants to do with her life.

    Draw her two pictures, side by side on a single sheet of paper. 1) draw a doorway that is just a three-line figure. It is three inches wide and one inch high. 2) draw a second doorway that is one inch wide and three inches high.

    She can either choose the wide door way that lets in lots of people but has little potential for growth, income, or personal fulfillment (cars, interesting jobs, autonomy, vacations). The second has room for growth and is narrow, allowing only a few people to enter.

    Ask her where she wants to be. No matter what she wants to do/be, her life will be circumscribed by low income.

    Get her back into the four-year mode, even if she has to live at home or you have to rent an apartment. Dorm life may be as much a problem and being lonesome for home.

    Maybe if you make the car issue one that is going to take too much of her money, leaving her without money for gas, she will get it. Since she has not problem with making the grades, I would push for the four-yr no matter what.

    With a teaching degree and certificate, she can find jobs that are not in schools that require some sort of degree. We have a science truck that brings science to children. The people must be teachers who drive, run the program, and talk to students. A degree gives her flexibility. I applied for a job at a company that works for NASA. Having a teaching degree was required because they needed a teacher to get federal funding. They made widgets.

    She will get it all straightened out with your help. Try not to drink too

  5. You are SO much nicer than me. We did not buy a car for each kid's use. We had one they would have shared. When Mere and Chance decided to move to their mom's they did each get a car. But they had to get jobs to pay for them. We did maintain one for Sam, but she had to pay for insurance and gas.


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