2023-The Year of Trauma Causes Hair Loss

I went through three major traumatic events last year.  One began on Christmas Eve of 2022 when I nearly sliced my lower leg off.  At least, Sissie's husband, who tended to my wound until the paramedics took me to the hospital in an ambulance, told her later he thought for sure I would lose that leg.  He was a battlefield medic in Afghanistan so he would know a thing or two about wounds.

We got home and shortly thereafter I got sent to Wound Care.  Being power washed to remove dead skin was no picnic.  And then the people they had putting multi-layered bandaging on me didn't know how to do it, so after about 24 hours these bandages would come undone and fall off.  

Luckily eventually I had a great home health nurse and she DID know how to administer these multilayered wraps to help close up my wound.  All in all it was a sucky time in my life and with this wound I couldn't go anywhere or do anything without help.

Then as I got past this injury my son decided to become Mr. Hyde.  He married a deceitful woman and she insisted that he do her bidding, which included turning on his own parents. He became a totally different person, someone we don't know. He began to lie to us and it all culminated at Christmas when we made a torturous 3 day car trip to see him, his wife and our granddaughter.  We weren't allowed to touch her, hold her and when we took a photo, son's wife went ballistic!  They lied that nobody in the family(her family since that is the only one they spent time with)was allowed to touch/hold her.  They mentioned that they had gone to have photos taken with Santa earlier that day but we assumed one of her parents had held her for that.  And 2 days following our visit they were taking the baby on a plane to Florida because wife's brother(who is a music teacher)had the school marching band performing at some Bowl Game down there.  Who takes an infant on a germ filled plane in the Winter but doesn't let her own grandparents touch her?  Oh, and we were required to have certain vaccines before the wife would allow us to be in the same room with our granddaughter.

We brought gifts, including this cute baby romper I bought at the Tower of London......

See the Queen's corgis on it? lol  We got no thank you either in person or in a text/email/phone call from either of them.  Son dropped a generic gift card in a card and shoved it into Hubs hands.  Does this generation not have any manners.

We went to the meeting bearing gifts in an effort to reconcile but son's wife would have none of it!  She was hell bent on being vicious and mean toward us and withholding our granddaughter like a weapon.  Even my younger son saw and said that.  While older son just goes along with wife's agenda.  I was so disappointed.

So we finished that visit and 2 days later drove to VA to spend time with my brother and sister-in-law.  Sister-in-law was somehow still friends with my son and his wife on FB and started showing hundreds of photos the wife had posted there(after she had instructed us not to post any photos of the baby online).  Including a photo with Santa, where they had plopped that baby in a complete strangers lap(neither of them had held her!)!!  

When confronted with this they continued to lie to us and sister-in-law got unfriended on FB(like everybody else).  Hubs blew up at son and I told him he was no longer my son.  He had destroyed any relationship we had with his deceits and lies and I just couldn't take anymore of his backstabbing.  He has caused me undue stress, anxiety and emotional disturbance that whole year.  I feel part of it's his wife making him lie to us to cover up her deceits but who knows for sure.  At any rate, I no longer wished to be part his life, even if that meant never seeing my granddaughter again.  I wasn't going to make him chose between his wife(who has made it very clear she hates us)and his parents, who loved, sacrificed and did a lot for him.  So basically I gave him the gift of peace by no longer being interested in being in his life.  That meant I'll never get to see my granddaughter but I will make that sacrifice it it brings him peace in his marriage to that witch.

Then my daughter, who we dragged our lives down here for, because she begged us to be near her, started acting strangely and distant.  Over that first year down here, she had slowly been withdrawing from us.  But I think older son had told her lies about our visit to PA and she refused to talk to us and get our version of what happened, so I confronted her about her behavior and other things I don't want to mention here and she basically blew us off.  She refuses to have anything to do with us now.  I gathered a box of her things from childhood(like I did for the other two kids)and went to her house around noon on a Sunday recently to give it to her.  Even with ringing the doorbell, knocking loudly numerous times on the door and her big dog barking her head off, daughter refused to answer the door.  And I know they were home as both cars were in the driveway.
I had typed up a note, just in case, so I taped it to her door, and left the box on the front porch.

So that has been a large emotional and anxiety ridden part of last year.  We sent baby gifts(some where never acknowledged)and we brought more things to PA for the granddaughter and her parents refused to acknowledge them.

Then I had to run a medical gauntlet here of incompetent health care, an orthopedic surgeon who led me on and lied to me about doing my knee replacement(he kept offering me steroid shots in the knee, knowing full well, that would put me off for 3 more months).  So I hobbled around until I found the orthopedist in Ohio would did an excellent job on my TKR.

When I returned, after recovering from a PCP/Pediatrician assigned to me who abandoned me via some unknown to me person over the phone at that facility(and yes I reported her to the health system's CEO and the LA Board of Medical Examiners), I found a new PCP and a physical therapy place to help me recover the use of my knee.

While at that PT one day, I happened to look into the mirror while doing some exercise.  They had a mirror covering one whole wall of that place. I was able to see that I had bald places on the back of my head where hair should be!  WTF?!?!

This was taken in January when my hair was still colored.  I had long hair before this.

My forehead today..........

It's not as bad as it use to be but still.  I use to be able to part my hair, now I had short nubs of hair in the front I can't part.

My hair was so shockingly bad that I had to wear chemo patient type headwraps when we went to PA at Christmas.....

I can't believe that my husband never mentioned to me that I had numerous bald spots on the back of my head that whole time!  I guess men  don't notice stuff like that, huh?  I went all around the British Isles on a cruise ship in that semi-bald state and now I feel a fool.

Now with the prospect of that Focused Ultrasound procedure ahead the part most women dread, having to shave your head for it, is not a big deal with me.  I am halfway to bald now so why should I care?!

Via Good Buddy Anne I found wig manufacturer and since then I don't go out in public without a wig on.......

2023 was the Year From Hell for me, between medical issues and 2 ungrateful children who stabbed us in the back. Both of which caused me major anxiety and depression and caused me to lose my hair and question my sanity.

Sluggy

Carppity Carp Carp.....Pity Party Rant

This has been my week......lots of carp!
Just switch positions on two letters and you'll know how I really feel. ;-)

Last weekend celebrating Hubs for Father's Day took over 3 whole days basically.
He had taken Friday off so it was an evening at the local Brew Pub.........

Of course Daughter said she was treating him on Friday so I had to pay for myself and the 20 bucks I gave her MORE than covered my sandwich and 1 beer....so I got to supplement what she paid for Hubs.
And nothing of any note got done at home that day.....

Then Saturday is was all day at Hubs favorite not-quite-local Brew Pub.

Of course nobody took my picture so I was forced to do a selfie with the river in the background......

Then Daughter and BF headed off for an afternoon/evening of dirt track racing so I was the designated dog sitter until after midnight.  Even though I didn't want to stay up that late.
And another day when nothing got done at home.

On our road trip in May we got a chip in our car windshield from a truck that threw a rock at us on the highway.  Just a little chip so Hubs took the car in two weeks ago to get it fixed.  They didn't replace the windshield and just filled the chip with resin.
Well we come out to the car on Saturday after leaving the Brew Pub and the chip is now a crack that extends about halfway across the windshield!

Can't make it out well for the glare and clouds reflected but it's major now.  So back the car goes to the glass place and another call into our insurance. bleh.  At least we didn't have to pay ANOTHER deductible since it's the same damage.

On Sunday we stayed home and Hubs decided to do yard work(and I didn't ask him to do that).
I stayed inside and tried to get something put away in this house as it was too hot for me out in the sun.
So Hubs blows up that evening because he had to do yard work all day(no, no he didn't HAVE TO)and I didn't appreciate it and it's Father's Day and I guess he expected us all to wait on him hand and foot.
I wanted to hand him his ass about this time.....

I didn't ask him to do anything all day or for the last 3 days when he was off AND we carted him around to places he likes to drink beer.
So yes, I guess I am a bad bad wife and a horrible person.  I deserve to be yelled at.

So moving on from my thrilling 3 day weekend--

Monday I set up an appointment for Salvation Army to come pick up this stuff.......

I can't take it all in myself with a Chevy Sonic.
SA emails that they will come on Friday......no time frame or anything.

So I hear the truck outside the house BEFORE 8 am this morning.
I go downstairs to cage the dog so I can actually open the front door without her running off(she is a runner!)and speak with the men.
By the time I secure the dog and go open the front door, the truck is gone!!!
They just f*ing left!

Well screw you Salvation Army......

I left a scathing feedback comment on their pick-up website and now I am off to upload these photos to my town's FB sales site to see if anyone here will come get any of this stuff for FREE.
I could chew nails I am so pissed right now.

I feel like all I've done all week besides hide out on the computer doing genealogy stuff is cook and do dishes and deal with a pretty demanding dog when Daughter is not home.  I don't blame the dog....she is settling in well but she is so needy and not trained well.  And I can't occupy her all day long even though I am the one home with her mostly.
I am past the time in my life where I want to train a dog.

And Daughter has not been home a lot this week....between 2 days of her part time job, doc appointment, buying pants, going to another job interview, selling her plasma, going to the chiropractor 2 times in a week, going to the dentist, going to the eye doc and I am sure I am leaving something out here.

My question is why does she waits until she has no income coming in to see a dentist or eye doc......and then she's got her hand out to me wanting me to pay for this, since she's not on our dental or eye plans, just our medical plan, and she has to pay full price?
Or at least it feels like she's always got her hand out for cash. Ugh.

The house is nowhere near where it needs to be and no one, at least I feel, seems to be in any kind of hurry to help me get it to a livable point.
This alone is stressing me out massively.
I can't live in chaos but for so long and I've hit my limit.

I am just feeling overwhelmed I guess.  So much has changed in my day-to-day life and I am not liking it and I don't feel in control of anything in my life right now.

The one bright spot in all the madness that is life here?

I discovered Wednesday that Weis(PMITA)Markets now carries Pimiento Cheese!
And it was on sale!!!
I could just fill up a tub with this stuff and dive in nekkid with a supply of celery sticks. lolz

My phone which College Boy insists he didn't lose is still missing.  He finally went and bought me a replacement phone at Walmart which cost him all of $10.  Yes, it only took him a week to get him off his ass to replace my phone..........

I transferred all my minutes and am now back in business.

Not 2 days later we get a letter from Tracfone.........

Telling me I am eligible for a new free phone! lolz

And now Hubs informs me he wants to go to Maine the beginning of August and has already taken time off from work to do this.
Not that getting out of here is a bad thing but.......
He won't plan the trip so I'll have to do all that.
And if I don't include shit he wants to do(which he won't tell me until the last blanged minute)he'll pout.
And I am just tired of it all.
I'd rather just take off by myself somewhere.
Or better yet, just send him to Maine alone and I'll stay home and clean out his shed, which he refuses to clean.  Those bikes in the photo above?  Those were in the shed and the only reason they aren't still in there is because I got mad on Monday and tore through there to at least get 10 year old bikes out to donate.
sigh.

Hubs also informed me earlier this week he's decided "he" wants to throw a 4th of July cookout.
Well guess who gets to plan and implement the food for this shindig and arrange it all?  8-P

Not that I had any say in whether we have a cookout.
And the deck is a disaster.....it never got cleaned last year or sealed before the bad weather set in so it's green and cracking and nasty.

Want to lay bets on whether Hubs gets it cleaned and sealed before the end of next weekend for "his" cookout?
I am going to tell him if he doesn't get it done I am calling off his cookout because well I am a bitch and I am so over it.
I can't even.

So I survived the week and besides keeping it together I've bagged up stuff to get rid of and burned a large stack of cardboard boxes.
Go me.

So in conclusion I am NOT having a good week.

Here's hoping next week is better and I don't send anyone to the Emergency Room.

Sluggy

Life Is Always Changing

So I alluded to some changes coming down the pike in 2016 for us at Chez Sluggy in earlier posts.

And here is the big one.......my daughter is going back to school and moving back in with us in PA.
And she is bringing her boyfriend.
As Sonya Ann would say, "yaaaaay" with a frowning face. 8-(

As of now we don't have a hard timeline for when this move will occur as Daughter is dealing with medical issues and wants them address in Louisiana before they move to Pennsylvania(at least right now that is her plan).  So when she starts school(and moves here)will depend on when the medical is addressed.  She basically needs Laparoscopic back surgery.  I won't get into details on this here.
We are at the whims of her spine doc and our insurance provider(and probably appeals by said insurer)as to when she will be able to get the surgery.  If she gets it soon, she can start college in the Fall and will be moving here in August.  If they keep delaying then she starts in the Spring and moves here in December.  If her spine doc refuses to do the surgery on her then she can quit her job and move back sooner rather than later and get a new spine doc up here.

So I have either until August or until December to make room in the house for her and the boyfriend.
Oh and did I mention they are bringing their dog too? ;-)
So we are going from a household of 2 and 1 kid here part time(when not in school)to a household of 4 and 1 kid here part time and a rather large crazy dog.

We have very little clutter left in our house(just lots of dirt lolz)but I am again searching the house with a keen eye toward getting rid of more "stuff".  Hubs has lots of "stuff", from his book addiction, to his chess accoutrements to his beer brewing supplies.  My "stuff" is a fabric stash and lots and lots of toiletries.  The food stockpile is not "stuff" and will be needed even more once they all move in here.

I do still have some things I never listed on eBay(about 5 tubs worth)which I will be going through soon and doing something with it all.  The immediate problem is that Daughter's old room is now the Toiletry Room so most of the toiletries here need to be moved elsewhere.  If I had my druthers I wouldn't be selling or giving a lot of this away(as we will use it eventually and with 2 more people in the house we will be going through the toiletries at a faster clip).  But I took a serious look at it all and some of it needs to go for lack of room.  I guess I could keep it all and have Rubbermaid tubs stacked around in all the rooms of the house but I don't want the house to resemble a storage unit. lolz

So, even though some of you readers feel I don't need the cash and I should just give it all away, I will be putting some of the toiletry stash up for sale locally.  I really don't want to have to organize a yard sale/toiletry sale or go to a flea market and sell my excess, as I have done in the past, as it's time consuming and just something I don't want to deal with at this time.  So I am using a FB yard sale page for my town presently to sell items and will expand out and list items on the local Craigslist board if the sales just don't happen as quickly as I need them to.  And if neither of those ideas pan out then I can get use to the "Early American Storage Unit" Look.  ;-)

If I had my druthers I wouldn't sell any of this but life changes and you roll with the punches.

I listed a few items on Friday and a few more on Saturday morning and here is what I've earned for my efforts...........

$70 bucks and someone is picking up shampoo this afternoon which will make a grand total of $90 so far.  8-)))

Once Daughter and BF move in we will have added expenses all around.  At least until the BF gets a job here and starts paying for some expenses. With Daughter in school full time and depending on how her back is she might not be able to get a part time job for awhile.
So yeah, I do need the money to add to what it will cost us in additional expenses(food, electric which includes a/c and heat)to live here.  I'd rather not stop putting money away for retirement expenses like I do now but if I have to stop my Savings Challenge for awhile I can.
 And until Daughter sells her house(the proceeds of which will go toward paying for college-the portion her scholarships don't pay)we will be fronting her money for college expenses too.  In the end we will get back what we spend on the college expenses but not on the living expenses.

All I can say is that Daughter is darn lucky her parents are careful with their money and in a position to help her and willing to give her a help with a fresh start in life.

How do I feel about all this?
Well, I've been in a funk most of the Winter over this.  I'd go so far as to say I've been depressed. Going from a nice quiet and peaceful household of 2+ to a household of 4+ and a dog is not something that was on my radar as we moved toward retirement.  And we really don't know her BF well so having a stranger living here produced some anxiety in me.  There are elements of my personality that are gregarious and outgoing but when I am home I am pretty introverted.  I need a quiet place to call home to recharge myself.
And my Daughter is somewhat high maintenance and brings the drama at time(plus her relationship with BF adds to the drama). We seemed to have a great relations once she moved to Louisiana. lolz

Add in that having them here until she is finished with school is also going to push back our moving out of PA timeline.  We had hoped to leave in the Spring of 2018 and relocate once we paid for the last semester of College Boy's tuition, but Daughter may not be done with her degree by then.  So we are stuck here until she gets that diploma.  Well we CAN move away but we can't sell this house until she's finished with school.

I have doubts about how this will all work in the end but I am willing to make changes in my life to accommodate them and their needs.  I hope we can avoid conflict and I am trying to stay positive about what will come.


Sluggy