I am still mulling over what to do with the blog.
FYI-one can not block a commenter on a blog like is possible on other platforms. The only safeguard is to moderate comments but then, the blog owner has to see horrible and/or unsuitable comments before sending them to the spam folder. And that's not something I want to see any longer. It's bad for one's mental health.
I could make the blog private, by invitation only. In that way only invited persons can see the blog and possibly comment on it.
I prefer to be transparent so this choice rubs me the wrong way, but if push comes to shove I may need to go that route.
My only other choice is to move the blog to another platform(which I don't want to do as I feel we have a supportive little online community here-let me know if I'm wrong on that score)or shut it down.
Anybody have any thoughts on this? Is my content still relevant to anyone? I know my heart hasn't been in this venture much since relocating to this state and all the turmoil we've suffered since the move and being basically physically alone and far from any family or friends who care about us.
I am hoping I'll find my MoJo and enjoy doing this again at some point....mostly probably after we resettle in another area not so foreign and hostile with too many bad memories tied to it.
I've had this blog since January 2009(and another blog briefly before that). I must say it's a hard habit to give up.
Sluggy
I would hate to see you stop blogging because of the nasty comments but you do need to protect your mental health. I truly don't understand why some people are unable to just move on and not read if it's not something they enjoy. I don't agree with you about everything, but appreciate the chance to try to understand when I don't agree---it would be a boring world if we were all the same! Erica
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry. I wish there was an easy solution. I would very much miss you. I check your blog everyday to see if you posted.
ReplyDeleteMelissa
I hardly ever comment, but I really appreciate reading your candor and life experiences, even the more hard to read ones. I hope you ignore the trolls, they will get tired of you and move on…and without your voice the internet is a little more biased and drab.
ReplyDeleteDo you have a trusted blog friend you could get to moderate comments? Delete the trolls and leave the rest for you to read, respond, etc,? I use to do that for my oldest daughter when she blogged. She is a behavioral therapist but couldn't handle trolls. She stopped blogging several years ago and moved on to Instagram. I much prefer reading blogs as Instagram stories are only up 24 hrs and you can't go back and look at older posts
ReplyDeleteI do not read some bloggers, just delete before I can read a word other than a name. I don't have to read it. I don't know if you should reconsider, but I think a better atmosphere would improve your resilience. I could be wrong.
ReplyDeleteI have had some comments I did not appreciate as well. I understand. I just delete them. I also go into the background mode, before deleting and mark it as Spam. That should send that same responder address to Spam each time (I think). Kind of seems to be working.
ReplyDeleteI am sorry you are getting bad comments.
You do talk about things I won't on my blog, but it is yours and you can talk of any subject you wish. People need to just ignore things they don't like. People today are not the same as they were in 2009 sadly!
Private might work too - I didn't know one could do that.
I hope you come up with a good solution. I always read, just don't always comment. Take care - you are what is important!
Personally, I would be sad to see you go, especially because of trolls that have no life. I understand the comments are hurtful, you just have to consider the source. I enjoy reading your posts and you've actually made me challenge myself to save more at the store. Trust me when I say I know exactly how you feel to move to another state to be closer to family and things aren't the way you thought they would be. It does get better.
ReplyDeleteI love your blog. I don't think I've ever commented, but I've been reading for a long time! I think it's great (and helpful) how transparent you are about numbers. We are beginning to think about retirement and it's nice seeing how others navigate. I'm sorry you are dealing with such awful people!
ReplyDeleteI think you definitely need to get it together and move. You have been
ReplyDeleteMOre negative and miserable and nasty since you moved. How can you do that all day every day? To complain and be a victim and be nasty to others on here yet complain everyone treats YOU bad. There must be a name for this where you are constantly a pot calling a kettle black and yet totally refuse to not be oblivious about it. It’s very very odd.
See? This is the sort of crap I get in comments but it's pretty mild compared to some. Who needs to see this in there life??
DeleteGive it a freaking break, get a life, LOL. If you dislike someone this much and you don't even know them, BUT make the time to come here you have a problem.
DeleteSome self reflection and a break will do you good I think. Be kind to others. It’s free. And being nice to people will in turn make you yourself happy.
DeleteYou don't need it. People like that are just sad.
DeleteIt’s very very odd that they never leave any sort of name.
DeleteMy you are a shitty human - leave her the hell alone. Give your name instead of hiding.
DeleteMelissa
What value does a name add on a blog that explicitly accepts anon comments. “Melissa” 😉 if that’s your real name. Add mandatory name of your need it sluggy.
DeleteI enjoy the content of your blog. If you go then invitation route, I'd like to be included.
ReplyDeleteHi Sluggy, this is Chris. I know you have had a hard time since you moved to LA. I still like your blog and it has been helpful as we just retired at the first of this year. I have especially appreciated your transparency about your budget/expenses as you made the transition to retirement. I also read some of the blogs on your blog roll and get to them through your blog. If you decide to take your blog private or another site, I would still want to follow you. Idk about how to do that?
ReplyDeleteEven if we disagree, I do come and read here from time to time. I would not like to see you stop, and would sign up if it were invite only somehow, hopefully. I understand it's been tough for you, and me wanting the blog to stay is selfish, so the choice is yours.
ReplyDeleteHi Sluggy, I’ve read your blog for years and also have been connected to many other great blogs through your list on the side of the page. I appreciate it. I think you should do an invitation only blog. Announce it here with directions on how to get an invite and then you can sort out who your would like to invite. Just my two cents but I’d hate to see you go. While we may not agree on some things I think that’s not a bad thing to get other people’s perspective. Thanks for introducing me to the blog world! I say keep on writing! ColoradoGirl
ReplyDeleteI love your blog, if you decide to go private I'd love to be part of it, I really don't understand why people can be so mean. You do what's best for you, big hugs to you and know your in my thoughts and prayers 😘
ReplyDeleteI have learned a lot from your blog. I will miss you if you stop blogging.
ReplyDeleteI do read your blog and understand going through a rough patch in your life and hope it does turn around for you very soon. You are right that it doesn’t do any good to read other people’s rude and uncaring comments. If writing the blog brings you enjoyment, then I suggest you make it private so you can write freely and honestly and have a community that supports you. If you aren’t sure, what you want to do, why not take a break for a month and see how you feel then about the blog.
ReplyDeleteCan you disallow anonymous comments? Yes, I realize this is ironic coming from an anonymous commenter … LOL!
ReplyDeleteI used to blog but quit because of nasty comments. I had comment moderation on and never acknowledged the troll (pretty sure it was just one particular person) on my blog because I didn’t want to give the troll any satisfaction, but it still bothered me enough that I just decided it wasn’t worth the negative feelings and quit. I didn’t have much of a following and it was really just a spending diary and pretty innocuous … so I didn’t have much of a community to lose.
Hate often comes from jealousy, but I also think a lot of it comes from very unhappy people who can only feel good about themselves if they feel superior to others. I think you’re running into people putting you down just to make themselves feel better.
I occasionally watch a vlog that stars an overweight young women and I find her so funny and interesting - her life is SO DIFFERENT from anything I have ever experienced (or ever will). Her content literally has zero relevancy to my middle-aged life - I’m not buying the clothes, wearing the makeup and I have no interest in TikTok trends, Coachella or getting the perfect Instagram image. I started watching when she was just a small channel and working a 9-5 - she just struck me as honest, funny and smart. Her channel has taken off in recent years and she now fully supports herself with online endeavors. That poor girl is currently being eviscerated by a bunch of jealous 20-something’s because she’s been steadily losing weight over the past year or so … I think her viewers were initially able to temper their jealousy because even though she had some great things going on in her life and was making a living from content creation, they could always tell themselves, “But she’s fat …”. Now that she’s slimming down … she appears to have it all and there is no “but” and now they hate. It’s just cruel. IDK. People can be wonderful, but they can also suck.
Do what you need to do, Sluggy. I enjoy your blog. I don’t necessarily agree with you all the time and I can for sure tell you are hurting and unhappy right now … but I will miss you if you leave the blogging world.
Sheesh I've always been of the opinion that if I don't like something that someone has written on their blog or facebook I have the choice to just scroll past.Personally I enjoy reading your blog and do every day.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry Sluggy. I like your blog. I understand about really heavy on the heart and pocketbook family issues. Virtual hugs on whatever you decide.
ReplyDeleteCindy in the South
I am appalled that you have this kind of rude troll (s) commenting. SO wrong. I really don't know what to tell you. They obviously don't know you. Or maybe they do and are just plain mean and vindictive.. Shame, Shame. I want to beat them up. Send them my way..
ReplyDeleteMean and vindictive is exactly how I’d describe sluggy. More so over the last year. What kind of fun is that to keep writing and posting hate all the time?! Yuck!
DeleteWhat kind of life do they have that they continue to read your blog feeling this way? I do not understand people torturing themselves and then complaining like it is your fault somehow.
ReplyDeleteI’m sorry you receive the ugly comments such as this one. I personally have enjoyed your posts. I love that the community post comments that are meant to be helpful and uplifting.
ReplyDeleteYou do what is best for you. I wish you the best.
Sue in MN
I'm an occasional reader. Are you moving again? To another state?
ReplyDeleteYes, we only moved here at the behest of my daughter. Then she turned her back on us after asking us to move here so she could help us as we aged so it's time to move somewhere we have family that cares about us. Obviously daughter has issues and won't let us be a part of her life and I am done begging a grown child to let us be her friends.
DeleteAny way you can automatically delete "anonymous" listings? That should take care of some of the worst, at least. (I didn't realize you couldn't block the commenters. I get some nastiness on my own blog, but delete them quickly with a mental foot on their backside, as I shove them out the door.)
ReplyDeleteYour viepoint is refreshing....and I LOVE your "found money!" comments. Don't know why -- I just do. Tell us more about your everyday life...it is NOT boring. If we don't want to read about something, it's easy to skip that post. Please don't give it up. Maybe posting less would give you a break? It gets a little tiresome now and then, and your readers would understand.
Dear Sluggy, this is Jackie in CA. I agree with you; I think that this is a supportive community and I would hate to lose it. I am so sorry that you are having to deal with this along with your health issues and your children. I don't always agree with you, but I have learned a lot from your blog. I sure hope that you don't shut down, but you do what's best for you and your health.
ReplyDeleteI do hope you continue to blog. Cindy in the South
ReplyDeletePlease don’t stop blogging! I have been reading along for years now and enjoy your content and how clever you are at saving on groceries and household expenses, though I don’t post. Have you considered that your nasty troll may be a relative, they sure are full of hate. Don’t let ugly people deter you, I think there are many like me who don’t post but enjoy your content. By the way, my name is Jeanette and I live in Missouri, though my comment will come in as anonymous as I don’t have a Google account.
ReplyDeleteI can't believe the nastiness of that person. DO NOT give them an outlet - delete their comments. You will see it is them quickly - just don't read it. There are some really miserable people in this world, and that person is surely one of them. I send comments like that to Spam and it helps a lot. You are cared about!!!!!
ReplyDeleteI don't understand the anonymous crappy comments. If you can't put your name on it, you have no business saying it. Own your venom!
ReplyDeleteI gave up blogging around two years ago and I still get hate mail. Thankfully I have other, more important things to concern myself about rather than those losers. IMHO, stop ALL comments for a while and take a breather. Millie (again) :)
ReplyDelete