Meg B. asked....."What started you on your frugal road, and when? Have you always been primarily a SAHM,- maven -of -frugality?If so, as a college-educated woman, did you ever get grief for that choice? "
Lots of good questions so I'll dive right in.
I guess I have always been frugal, even as a teen. Due to my home life as a teen money and food were a constant worry.
Then when I left home for school, after I moved out of the dorms my sophomore year again, money and food were a constant worry. My father paid for my schooling yet gave me no money and I had to provide myself with a place to live and food to eat.
When Hubs and I married and struck out on our own money was tight.....very tight. We had to watch every nickel and make choices between wants and needs.
Then came kids and our money had to stretch even further to meet our needs.
About 2002 we got comfortable with our income. That was when Hubs finally got a promotion and his salary went high enough to let us relax a bit with tracking expenses. We had also been carrying two mortgages from 2000 to 2001 which strained our financial limits a bit more but once the old house sold we were doing aok.
We experienced some lifestyle inflation at that point....nothing crazy--eating out more, buying more "stuff", etc., but we didn't worry about the money and spent a bit more freely. I didn't watch my grocery spending and we started taking vacations that didn't involve staying with family and/or friends. 8-)
Then, as kids going to college(and paying for said kids)loomed on the horizon I got frugal again around late 2008. I joined an online group called The Compact which was all about limiting consumer spending and going without shopping as an activity/hobby. I went full-on compact and basically didn't buy anything that wasn't a consumable need for a whole year. It turned my thinking around about the accumulation of 'stuff".
2008 was also when the economy imploded here in the US so it was good timing. I started also couponing heavily in early 2009. With the Recession companies were offering great deals on food and toiletries and HBA products, both rebates and high value coupons. I got some amazing buys in 2009/2010 for little money, before companies started pulling back on the deals and the whole extreme couponing crowd took over.
As for letting my college education go to waste--I ended up getting a degree in a field that I decided for many reasons was not how I wanted to spend my life. Yes, it's possible I could have become famous(lolz)and had great wealth if I had stuck with that career field but I would have lost much more and more important things in the end. I probably wouldn't have had a great partner in life like the one I have and I most definitely wouldn't have had kids(unless I had become wealthy).
I have worked over the years at many jobs as the need arose for income. My primary job however has been the care and feeding of my kids. As Hubs income rose we were lucky to be able to have me pursuit those goals rather than being a 2 income family. Yes, there were times when money was tight because of that choice but we both felt it was the best one for our family. If I don't say so myself, my kids are turning out to be awesome people that I am glad to know.
If I could go back to those college years I may have taken a different major....maybe not. Having a more marketable skill might have helped us out financially more but we did ok and I can't complain.
Even though I never really "used" my education, having it has broadened me, my world view and added to the person that I am today.
SAM from the blog, A New Frame of Reference, asked......."Here's one for you Sluggy. As an older mom myself, how do you navigate "mom" groups at school, sports, clubs, when they feel like they are sometimes a generation younger than me? I hear so many things that just make me feel dated and irrelevant so joining the conversations are sometimes awkward. I smile and nod a lot."
I had my first child at 32, my last one at 37. Back then I didn't consider myself an "older mom" as my group of friends were having babies in their 30's when I had #1 son. By the time my youngest was ready for school-real school, not Pre-K(and we have moved to a different area)I was 42. I became a room parent for my Kindergartener and was by far the oldest mom of the group. Other than having a kid the same age, I had nothing in common with these other women. Not really because of the age different but more because of my lifestyle and outlook in life.
Before we moved here I lived in a rural, fairly isolated community populated by people who had fled big cities in NJ and NY and/or retired older people who wanted to live in a quiet rustic setting far from popular culture. Between 1986 and 1993 we had no tv reception(except for a few fuzzy channels over regular broadcast channels). I limited my exposure to society(it is easy when you stay home and don't have cable and there was no internet yet there). I turned my focus inward and enjoyed living a simpler life of gardening, cooking, making a home and tending to my kids and husband. I had hobbies like canning, painting and sewing.
The women that populated(and still do populate to an extent)our new hometown are like foreigners to me. I remember when we moved in to this house a woman came to my door a few days after the move and invited me over to her home for lunch. The lunch turned out to be a "buy Mary Kay products from me" demonstration.....so disappointing. Let me say that I mostly never talked to that woman again as she really wasn't interesting in being friends, she just wanted me to be a client. 8-(
Part of my not fitting in too may be because I am not a "joiner". I guess I am like Grouch Marx who once said that he would never want to be a member of a club that would have him. lolz
I have NEVER been one to be part of a crowd or enjoy that crowd mentality. I do my own thing and enjoy most people for one reason or another. I don't run with a pack of women like many of my sex prefer to do. I have never gone to the bathroom because my group of gals was going, I've never gone out with the girls to party(ok, maybe once) and I've never had shopping/lunch dates with girlfriends and gossiped about whomever was not in attendance. It's just not something I enjoy.
I don't like to belong to organizations of any kind. These always come with strings attached and brings out the "mean girl herd mentality" in some women. I found this especially in the PTA here at the elementary school my kids went to.
I did 2 years in our school's vicious club and my time in that was one of the most depressing episodes of my life(really!). I began to question my own self-worth and just felt so awful having to participate in any activity through it. The people who controlled it only wanted folks there to do their bidding and have no say in what/how things were done.
But enough of my PTA PTSD.....when forced to be around people I don't enjoy or have much in common with, if I can find common ground I'll try to feature that in conversation but if no one is interested having meaningful conversations I just smile and nod a lot SAM. 8-)
Sorry to be so wordy and going off on tangents but you folks asked for it......lolz
Sluggy
Lots of good questions so I'll dive right in.
I guess I have always been frugal, even as a teen. Due to my home life as a teen money and food were a constant worry.
Then when I left home for school, after I moved out of the dorms my sophomore year again, money and food were a constant worry. My father paid for my schooling yet gave me no money and I had to provide myself with a place to live and food to eat.
When Hubs and I married and struck out on our own money was tight.....very tight. We had to watch every nickel and make choices between wants and needs.
Then came kids and our money had to stretch even further to meet our needs.
About 2002 we got comfortable with our income. That was when Hubs finally got a promotion and his salary went high enough to let us relax a bit with tracking expenses. We had also been carrying two mortgages from 2000 to 2001 which strained our financial limits a bit more but once the old house sold we were doing aok.
We experienced some lifestyle inflation at that point....nothing crazy--eating out more, buying more "stuff", etc., but we didn't worry about the money and spent a bit more freely. I didn't watch my grocery spending and we started taking vacations that didn't involve staying with family and/or friends. 8-)
Then, as kids going to college(and paying for said kids)loomed on the horizon I got frugal again around late 2008. I joined an online group called The Compact which was all about limiting consumer spending and going without shopping as an activity/hobby. I went full-on compact and basically didn't buy anything that wasn't a consumable need for a whole year. It turned my thinking around about the accumulation of 'stuff".
2008 was also when the economy imploded here in the US so it was good timing. I started also couponing heavily in early 2009. With the Recession companies were offering great deals on food and toiletries and HBA products, both rebates and high value coupons. I got some amazing buys in 2009/2010 for little money, before companies started pulling back on the deals and the whole extreme couponing crowd took over.
As for letting my college education go to waste--I ended up getting a degree in a field that I decided for many reasons was not how I wanted to spend my life. Yes, it's possible I could have become famous(lolz)and had great wealth if I had stuck with that career field but I would have lost much more and more important things in the end. I probably wouldn't have had a great partner in life like the one I have and I most definitely wouldn't have had kids(unless I had become wealthy).
I have worked over the years at many jobs as the need arose for income. My primary job however has been the care and feeding of my kids. As Hubs income rose we were lucky to be able to have me pursuit those goals rather than being a 2 income family. Yes, there were times when money was tight because of that choice but we both felt it was the best one for our family. If I don't say so myself, my kids are turning out to be awesome people that I am glad to know.
If I could go back to those college years I may have taken a different major....maybe not. Having a more marketable skill might have helped us out financially more but we did ok and I can't complain.
Even though I never really "used" my education, having it has broadened me, my world view and added to the person that I am today.
SAM from the blog, A New Frame of Reference, asked......."Here's one for you Sluggy. As an older mom myself, how do you navigate "mom" groups at school, sports, clubs, when they feel like they are sometimes a generation younger than me? I hear so many things that just make me feel dated and irrelevant so joining the conversations are sometimes awkward. I smile and nod a lot."
I had my first child at 32, my last one at 37. Back then I didn't consider myself an "older mom" as my group of friends were having babies in their 30's when I had #1 son. By the time my youngest was ready for school-real school, not Pre-K(and we have moved to a different area)I was 42. I became a room parent for my Kindergartener and was by far the oldest mom of the group. Other than having a kid the same age, I had nothing in common with these other women. Not really because of the age different but more because of my lifestyle and outlook in life.
Before we moved here I lived in a rural, fairly isolated community populated by people who had fled big cities in NJ and NY and/or retired older people who wanted to live in a quiet rustic setting far from popular culture. Between 1986 and 1993 we had no tv reception(except for a few fuzzy channels over regular broadcast channels). I limited my exposure to society(it is easy when you stay home and don't have cable and there was no internet yet there). I turned my focus inward and enjoyed living a simpler life of gardening, cooking, making a home and tending to my kids and husband. I had hobbies like canning, painting and sewing.
The women that populated(and still do populate to an extent)our new hometown are like foreigners to me. I remember when we moved in to this house a woman came to my door a few days after the move and invited me over to her home for lunch. The lunch turned out to be a "buy Mary Kay products from me" demonstration.....so disappointing. Let me say that I mostly never talked to that woman again as she really wasn't interesting in being friends, she just wanted me to be a client. 8-(
Part of my not fitting in too may be because I am not a "joiner". I guess I am like Grouch Marx who once said that he would never want to be a member of a club that would have him. lolz
I have NEVER been one to be part of a crowd or enjoy that crowd mentality. I do my own thing and enjoy most people for one reason or another. I don't run with a pack of women like many of my sex prefer to do. I have never gone to the bathroom because my group of gals was going, I've never gone out with the girls to party(ok, maybe once) and I've never had shopping/lunch dates with girlfriends and gossiped about whomever was not in attendance. It's just not something I enjoy.
I don't like to belong to organizations of any kind. These always come with strings attached and brings out the "mean girl herd mentality" in some women. I found this especially in the PTA here at the elementary school my kids went to.
I did 2 years in our school's vicious club and my time in that was one of the most depressing episodes of my life(really!). I began to question my own self-worth and just felt so awful having to participate in any activity through it. The people who controlled it only wanted folks there to do their bidding and have no say in what/how things were done.
But enough of my PTA PTSD.....when forced to be around people I don't enjoy or have much in common with, if I can find common ground I'll try to feature that in conversation but if no one is interested having meaningful conversations I just smile and nod a lot SAM. 8-)
Sorry to be so wordy and going off on tangents but you folks asked for it......lolz
Sluggy
