Stupid Crap People Really Buy!....Episode #1

Just in time for the 2012 Holiday Shopping Season, it's a new Feature here at Chez Sluggy I like to call--

"Stupid Crap People Really Buy"

Today's Selection comes to us directly from the Sunday Coupon Inserts.  The Inserts on Sunday we get here aren't filled with lovely lovely high value coupons....no.  Instead they are filled with lovely lovely offers of fine quality merchandise that no store would deem to carry.
This particular item caught my eye recently......

It's the beautimous ELVIS FASHION BAG!

This beauty is available exclusively from the Bradford Exchange.
You know, that clearinghouse of all things "collectible".
Yes, this Elvis bag is a collectible that you can actually use to function as a purse...what a concept!

Stand in awe of it's custom designed golden faux leather featuring silhouettes of Elvis, his replica signature, the braided faux leather handle with metal rings attaching it to the bag, and a key fob with the TCB(or Taking Care of Business) charm.  Strong demand is expected so hurry and order NOW!

Now do you want to know the kind of customer I see walking around in life with this purse on their shoulder?

 
And this fine vinyl, er.....faux leather purse will run Miss "Kiss my Grits" Flo $100 in 4 easy payments(plus shipping of $10.99).
What a bargain!!!
Even if she has to tighten her Aqua net and chewing gum budget for awhile and stop throwing wild Canasta parties at the trailer park until this is paid off.

Yes, Style may be "Golden" like the ad states, but this purse is neither stylish nor golden.

Here's a thought--If you really must have an Elvis bag why not go down to one of "The Marts" and buy a plain bag, then buy some Elvis stickers and some fabric paint(though vinyl isn't really fabric, is it?) and create your own decorated bag.  This way, you save yourself a shit ton of money by not paying the extortionist price for a licensed Elvis product(which the lion's share goes to a division of JP Morgan Chase-which owns the rights to the Elvis name).  You save your money and I bet you'll have a much more tasteful and unique bag in the end.

It's just a cheap made in China bag anyway, just like all the other "faux leather" bags in the stores.  These probably cost $1.50 to produce and even with the print advertising it didn't cost anywhere near $100 to get to market.  What makes it cost $100 is the licensing and the horrendous markup charged by the owner of the bag company.
Yes, Sluggy has been watching SHARK TANK lately.....lol

And if you still have another $60 laying around to throw away, you can also buy the Elvis Performance Ballet Flats Shoes to complete your ensemble.

So I ask.....I know they must sell oodles of these......
But Who buys this crap?!?!
Anybody you know?
And what kind of need is filled in anyone with this stupid crap?
Or do people who buy stupid stuff just keep buying more and more until they end up on "Hoarders"?

Sluggy

It Changed My Life!.....Seriously.....

Dear Anonymous Blog Writer Who I Follow & Read,

I am so glad you decided to go to a Blogging Conference.
Really....I am!
I hope you had a blast.
And I already know that you did!

Because, between me and you, THAT is the point of attending a Blogging Conference.
Spending all that money to spend a long weekend away from home with other Bloggers is just an excuse for having a party.
The only people who actually make money from Blogging Conferences are the people who are in the business of setting up and running conferences.

I know, I know.....you will defend your choice to go by saying that it's "important" for your Blog.....
That you are learning so much from your fellow Bloggers......
That you are "connecting" with corporations......
That you are getting "your brand" out there for all to see.....
That you are treating your blog as a "business".....

But let's get real here.
Unless your blog really is a "business"......meaning you make enough income off of it to support yourself.
Unless you really learn something that will benefit me as your reader?
You are going on vacation.

I really don't care that much about your conference experience.
I don't want to hear how you agonized over every article of clothing you brought to find the perfect ensemble so you could go whore yourself for swag or get stinking drunk with your bloggy friends at the after party in the hotel suite.

I don't want to hear about the ridiculous spread of food and the ice carvings.
I don't want to hear about the corporate booths full of mousepads, t-shirts, samples of products, hats, etc. etc. etc. and how much flirting, smiling, cleavage, fake enthusiasm & interest, etc. you had to show those corporate stooges in order to haul a suitcase home bulging with freebies that just add to the materialistic waste stream we are already drowning in in this country.

Losing your dignity over a sample free roll of Charmin is NOT empowering to women.

Constant Tweets for 3 days and multiple posts about how FABULOUS it is to be there and LOOK AT ME! in Yet another Photograph with these other tipsy, smiling Bloggers just makes me want to hurl and block you into eternity.

So next time........and I DO KNOW there will be a next time because you are an attention junkie.......go spend your money(as long as you aren't in debt and you don't pay for the trip with credit)and have a great time!
When you get home, write ONE POST complete with links, photographs and your profound words about how this 3 Days have "changed my life".
One Post.
So that if I don't give a rat's ass about Blogging Parties I can easily scroll past it and we can get on with our online relationship.

Sincerely,

Your Reader(for now)


Sluggy