I apologize if I haven't been posting much......or been my usual perky cheerful self(that part was sarcasm folks). ;-)
But stuff that's been going down lately with Daughter's college admissions/financial aid stuff has me in a bad place emotionally. Let me rephrase that.....current difficulties in this area have brought up alot of suppressed emotions and events from my own life to the surface and that's why I am in a bad place. The current 'stuff' we are dealing with sucks but I know we'll get through it. It's the specter of my past that's been raised in my own head that's got me wanting to just go throw myself into a hole and die.
My family seemed pretty normal until I hit my teen years(yah, my parents were fairly good at keeping up appearances)and for too many reasons I can't list here, it spiraled into quite the disfunctional disaster zone. And it continued through my college years and beyond, shaping me in ways that people should not be shaped. Under my sarcastic exterior lies one broken damage bill of goods.
So yes, I am one of those people you meet in life with a lot of emotional baggage. Mostly due to lack of parental support in all ways conceivable. If not for my Hubs and his unflagging love and support, I don't know where or what I'd be at this point in my life.
I guess I should go find a therapist and pay them to sit and listen to my tales of woe at $200 an hour.
Hubs sympathizes but he has no patience for listening AGAIN and AGAIN to me rehashing all this stuff when I find myself in this bad place every few years. And he just doesn't "get it" really since he came from a totally different world where things like what I went through didn't happen. And I sure don't want to burden my kids(even though 2 of them are adults now)with what haunts me because well, that wouldn't add anything positive to their lives now, would it?
So I just suffer silently and go to this bad place when life events bring it up again and relive these painful times alone.
Gawd, this is getting depressing even for me!lol I'll stop now before anybody who's still reading this goes and takes a razor to their wrists. 8-P
I've thought about writing a book about my life.....no, I don't think anybody would pay good money to buy it! I just think it might be cathartic to get it out on paper. It might help me get past some of this stuff to deal with it in that way.
When I'm feeling a little better maybe I'll carve some time out to scribble down my thoughts.....
Anyway, this was all just my much too long way to let y'all know I may not be posting much in the next week or so.
I am going to put up a Giveaway soon but other than that I'll be off in my dark corner sorting through my baggage. Hopefully one day I'll be able to declutter some of that as well as the physical baggage hanging around here! ;-)
Sluggy
