Full On Sluggy Brain Dump....Long and Ranty

Have you ever had one of those weeks?
One of those weeks were it was like living in a roller coaster car?
Going from good things to bad things.....going from control to emotions all over the place.....going from knowing what was going on to being cluesless.....going from standing still in calmness to racing about like a headless poultry?

That's the kind of week it's been.
From happy to sad to angry to frustration to looking on the bright side to wanting to stomp the crap out of someone to being in the deepest pitt of despair to sucking on a glass of sangria and feeling no pain.

Ok, enough of the generalizations, let's get to the nitty and the gritty details, shall we?

Daughter is home now fulltime.
She came home and went out the first Monday she got back, looking for a job.
And the first place she applied, she got hired.
Made it look so easy, didn't she?

Even though her cousin, who is/was a senior in High School has been telling Hubs and I that he's been earnestly looking for a parttime job for MONTHS now.
Daughter is only 1 year older than him.  She has a little work history but not much.

Some how we now feel he really hasn't been all that earnest in his job search.

Ok, we KNOW he hasn't.

This is the kid who turned his nose up a year ago, when pushed to go out and look for a job, he turned his nose up at working at any fast food establishment, the local grocery store as a cashier, or any other type business that is all about giving teens their first work experience.
Back then, he would only deign to take employment at a mall store like Hollister or Aeropostale or AE Outfitters.
You know, the hoity toity stores that he can't afford to shop at but does.(That would be another long tirade of mine for another time.)

So we are happy for Daughter's new job.  Once she is trained she'll be eligible to make commissions on her sales.
Yes, she has dollar sign$ in her eyes.....

She is also dealing with boyfriend troubles and some medical issues that have been going on for the better part of a year and things in that arena came to a head this week.

After the nimrod doctors have not been able to diagnose and treat the ailment for so long, Daughter broke down in frustration.  And the doctors started piling on more medications to deal with the new symptons without getting to the root of the original issue.
Which to my non-medical degreed mind, makes little sense.
It's like when old people are on so many medications, each from a different specialist and each specialist doesn't know what the other is prescribing and meds start interfering with each other and causing new problems.
It's that kind of deal.
And I can't convince Daughter of that.
Why anyone would believe a doctor before they'd take the good sense advise of their own mother is beyond me.

So while her Aunt(the Sis-IL) was here we had a heart to heart about what was going on.....since SIL in her younger years dealt with the same issue Daughter is dealing with.
And SIL confirmed my view of the whole situation as being the correct one.
So now I have to convince Daughter to go off of all this medication/treatments and deal with the root problem.
And to trust me for a little bit.
Because I can't deal much longer with what has been passing for normal in her life lately!

Now that Daughter is working pretty much fulltime, I have no car.
She's been driving my car so I have to schedule my driving needs around her schedule.
Which blows. 
I've spent this past week trapped at home pretty much with Hub's sister.
And let me tell you.....that was all kinds of special!

I have a feeling we'll be going car shopping for that 3rd beater car shortly after we get back from our trip to Ohio.  I hate paying for another car, AND insurance, AND repairs/maintenance but not having access to transportation isn't making me happy.

Now to get to the other issue this past week and why the relatives all came to town.
Yesterday, Friday, was the High School Commencement Ceremony.
The Nephew was suppose to graduate yesterday..

Notice that I said "suppose to".
As of last weekend, we, meaning all the family that wasn't nephew and his father, were under the impression that he was set to graduate with his class.
When one of our clan graduates high school, all the relatives comes to town......the Bro-IL from SC drives up for a few days(after stopping in NJ for a few days), the Sis-IL from IL drives here and spends a week with us.
People go out of their way to plan, spend money to get here and such and attend.
So everyone was set to leave last weekend.
The Nephew calls our house last Sunday afternoon and wants to come over on Monday and "speak with us".
Hubs and I look at each other after he hangs up and tells me who it was.
We said "this isn't good, whatever it is" in unison.
My first thought was that he wanted money or he wanted to come live here for awhile(like he did last summer after he had a big fight with his dad).
In the back of my head I thought, "Maybe he isn't graduating?", but I thought, no, that can't be it.  He wouldn't have waited until now to say anything.

Hubs decided to go over immediately and get whatever bad news this was, out of the way.
And that hideous little thought was correct.....Nephew was NOT graduating!

He has fucked up his life once again......He failed Math for the year.
For someone all of barely 18 years old, he has done a huge amount of fucking up his life so far.
But he will be the first to tell you that none of this is his fault and he is the world's biggest victim.
Again, that is a rant for another time.
But I digress....

Now I am sure he KNEW long before the last week of school that he had flunked the subject for the year.
But he waited until less than a week before graduation to say anything.
We still don't know if his father(Hub's brother)KNEW that he wasn't graduating.
His father is how we say, "In his own little world" but it is highly likely that the Nephew just didn't tell him.  The school district here has gone paperless, so unless you have a computer and go onto the school's website and make an effort to see what is going on with your kid and their grades, it's very easy for a kid to keep their parent clueless about how they are doing in school.  BIL has no computer and besides, he doesn't even know how to use one.

So the Nephew has to take summer school math in July to get his diploma.
And he is not allowed to walk at graduation.
Hubs said nephew tried to make it sound like this was "ok" and he was technically graduating and it was not a big deal.
And that is when Hubs asked him if he was allowed to be in the commencement procession and walk at graduation.
And he was not.

And then Nephew almost got hit.....not because he hid this sort of IMPORTANT news but because
He had the nerve to ask Hubs at this point, "Do you think Aunt Judy(not her real name) is still going to give me my $250 Friday?"

AAAAAAAAAAAAAccccckkkk!
*This Aunt traditionally gives her nieces/nephews $250 when they graduate high school.*

Now I KNOW at this point Hubs was displaying remarkable self-control as the little voice in his head chanted,  
"Must control fist of death.....Must control fist of death.....Must control fist of death....."

I think he replied something like, "The only reason why your Aunt and Uncle are coming here is to see you graduate.  I hope they haven't left yet!  Otherwise they will have spent all this money and time to come here for no reason.  Of course she isn't giving you anything, you aren't graduating yet!"

What a stupid inconsiderate little prick......

And yes, the Bro-IL had already left and was in Maryland en route by the time he got back to the message we left.  Money wasted on motels and gas for nothing.
But the Sis-IL didn't leave to come here until Monday but she visited anyway.  But at least she knew before she left home that there was no graduation to go to and she'd be saving herself $250. ;-)

On Thursday, Hubs and I took the whole extended family out to Bob Evans for dinner.  Partly so I didn't have to cook one night and to give me a break.  And partly because he is too good to his siblings because anytime we go anywhere with them, they never offer to pay for themselves or anyone else.  That drives me bonkers and has led me to voice many snitty remarks about his family to him.
Ok, I am evil but I think in this case, it is warranted. ;-)

So on Thursday, Hubs called his brother(the father of the Nephew)to remind him of what time to come over so we can go out to dinner altogther.
Do you know what Bro-IL says to Hubs on the phone?
"Oh, do you want me to pick up a cake for the party?"

WTF?!?!?

A little background info.....a few weeks ago, Hubs had offered to let the father of Nephew to use our house for the little coffee and cake party after Graduation that is traditionally held in the family for the graduate.  Since Bro-IL and Nephew live in an apartment that is nasty filthy and ready for an episode of Hoarders since they haven't cleaned it since they moved in 5 years ago, we thought for everyone's health we'd have the party here.
Hubs told his brother if he wanted to get a cake, we would do coffee and host the graduation party.

Yes, delusional, self-involved Bro-IL thinks there is a graduation party after dinner at our house for Nephew, who is NOT graduating.
I heard Hubs end of the conversation that went like this....let's call Bro-IL Rick(not his real name).....

"Rick, hey, be over our house at 6 so we can all carpool down to Bob Evans for dinner, ok?"
****
"What?!"
****
"Rick!"
****
"Rick!  What are you  talking about a cake for?  There IS no graduation!  He isn't graduating and there is no party!!!"  And Hubs turned and gave me a look....
****
"We'll see you at 6"....click.....

Sometimes talking to the people in this family is like trying to have a conversation with a mental patient.
And that's all I'm saying about it for now.

It's Saturday and the week is over and the relatives are all gone.
Now I just have to deal with the normal insanity in my own little family here.
One more week until we take #2 Son to Camp and go on our little Vacation into the Wilds of Ohio......

Lord give me a grip and help me hang on until then!

Sluggy


 

About Last Week.....

First off I'd like to thank everyone who sent condolences for my Mother-in-Law's passing.
This past week was difficult.  Between all the in-laws descending on us for the funeral, Hubs having to drive across the state to fetch #1 son so he could be with the family here during this period of mourning and Hubs having to handle the bulk of the business stuff that needed doing because face it, half of his family is totally worthless when it comes to stepping up to the plate, it has been mighty stressful for us personally.

While my Hubs adored his mother, I had a contentious relationship with her at best.  At first I think she felt that being involved with me, kept her 'baby' from achieving more in life.  Eventually she got use to the idea that I wasn't going away and we settled into a relationship that worked for us, mostly because she kept her distance and was very hands off. 

I think in a way we were very much alike in so many areas and that is why we butted heads. 
I appreciate her for raising her kids to be decent human beings.  She was the original Frugalista too, living through the Depression as one of a large family.  She was very smart and graduated with honors from high school.  She could have gone to college if they had had the money for it.  Instead she fell in love, went to secretary school and worked until WWII was over and then married her soldier and raised a family.  She passed on that thirst for knowledge to her kids.  Her and my FIL were very poor starting out and suffered many injustices at the hands of my FIL's bigoted Italian-American family.  They survived and flourished in spite of it.
She was always reading(and I'm not talking romance novels)and questioning authority and societal norms. She was not afraid to stand up to anyone, no matter their position in life. Quiet yet outspoken.
When her oldest son asked an African American woman to be his wife, she was the first person to welcome her with open arms into the family. 

MIL has really been 'gone' for about 6 years due to advanced Alzheimer's. With the quality of her intellect, I was very sad to see that happen.   I am sure that if she had been aware of what was actually happening to her, she would have been devastated.
My mother on the other hand went quickly from physical ailments.  Having gone through both of their final years, I sure hope my body gives out before my mind does. 8-(

The actual service was brief but then there was the 2 hour drive, EACH WAY, to the cemetery in NJ and back here.  And when going to or leaving metro NY area of NJ, you always have to consider rush hour traffic issues.  Luckily, things timed out rather well so we weren't on the road during either rush hour periods.
And I was able to provide some comic relief to all who gathered at the cemetery.  Last Thursday was exceptionally warm in our area, about 58 degrees in Jersey.  The cemetery was still blanketed in a foot or so of snow.  We had to walk about 500 yds. in about 6 inches of a melting, slushy, muddy mess of a half-assed shoveled pathway to get to the gravesite.  I hadn't even considered this possibility when picking out my footwear!
So I was in a pair of purple low cut low heeled flats, tromping through the snow/slush/mud.
Ugh! 
My feet were soaked to the bone by the time I took my 4th step.....
So I sucked it up and just soldiered on.  On the way back to the road, I misstepped into a mud hole and turned my ankle.  I pitched forward and went down headfirst into a foot of snow/slush, using my right hand/arm to catch myself from splaying out face down in the snow.  Of course, everyone was already way ahead of me, including my Hubs, so when I yelled for him to help me, nobody came, let alone heard me.  Oldest BIL's wife was still graveside snapping photos on her cellphone and she eventually saw me in my graceful position and came over.  By then I had taken matters into my own hands and crawled a couple of feet to the left, like a half-human/half-crab and used a headstone to steady myself and get upright.  I will always be grateful to Archie and Lucille for being there for me.   Sorry but I didn't catch the last name or the dates. ;-)
Leave it to me to make a Grand Exit.......

Now that things have settled back into their usual chaotic routine, I hope to get back to blogging and visiting around the blogosphere to catch up with my bloggy friends in the coming days.

Sluggy