First off I'd like to thank everyone who sent condolences for my Mother-in-Law's passing.
This past week was difficult. Between all the in-laws descending on us for the funeral, Hubs having to drive across the state to fetch #1 son so he could be with the family here during this period of mourning and Hubs having to handle the bulk of the business stuff that needed doing because face it, half of his family is totally worthless when it comes to stepping up to the plate, it has been mighty stressful for us personally.
While my Hubs adored his mother, I had a contentious relationship with her at best. At first I think she felt that being involved with me, kept her 'baby' from achieving more in life. Eventually she got use to the idea that I wasn't going away and we settled into a relationship that worked for us, mostly because she kept her distance and was very hands off.
I think in a way we were very much alike in so many areas and that is why we butted heads.
I appreciate her for raising her kids to be decent human beings. She was the original Frugalista too, living through the Depression as one of a large family. She was very smart and graduated with honors from high school. She could have gone to college if they had had the money for it. Instead she fell in love, went to secretary school and worked until WWII was over and then married her soldier and raised a family. She passed on that thirst for knowledge to her kids. Her and my FIL were very poor starting out and suffered many injustices at the hands of my FIL's bigoted Italian-American family. They survived and flourished in spite of it.
She was always reading(and I'm not talking romance novels)and questioning authority and societal norms. She was not afraid to stand up to anyone, no matter their position in life. Quiet yet outspoken.
When her oldest son asked an African American woman to be his wife, she was the first person to welcome her with open arms into the family.
MIL has really been 'gone' for about 6 years due to advanced Alzheimer's. With the quality of her intellect, I was very sad to see that happen. I am sure that if she had been aware of what was actually happening to her, she would have been devastated.
My mother on the other hand went quickly from physical ailments. Having gone through both of their final years, I sure hope my body gives out before my mind does. 8-(
The actual service was brief but then there was the 2 hour drive, EACH WAY, to the cemetery in NJ and back here. And when going to or leaving metro NY area of NJ, you always have to consider rush hour traffic issues. Luckily, things timed out rather well so we weren't on the road during either rush hour periods.
And I was able to provide some comic relief to all who gathered at the cemetery. Last Thursday was exceptionally warm in our area, about 58 degrees in Jersey. The cemetery was still blanketed in a foot or so of snow. We had to walk about 500 yds. in about 6 inches of a melting, slushy, muddy mess of a half-assed shoveled pathway to get to the gravesite. I hadn't even considered this possibility when picking out my footwear!
So I was in a pair of purple low cut low heeled flats, tromping through the snow/slush/mud.
Ugh!
My feet were soaked to the bone by the time I took my 4th step.....
So I sucked it up and just soldiered on. On the way back to the road, I misstepped into a mud hole and turned my ankle. I pitched forward and went down headfirst into a foot of snow/slush, using my right hand/arm to catch myself from splaying out face down in the snow. Of course, everyone was already way ahead of me, including my Hubs, so when I yelled for him to help me, nobody came, let alone heard me. Oldest BIL's wife was still graveside snapping photos on her cellphone and she eventually saw me in my graceful position and came over. By then I had taken matters into my own hands and crawled a couple of feet to the left, like a half-human/half-crab and used a headstone to steady myself and get upright. I will always be grateful to Archie and Lucille for being there for me. Sorry but I didn't catch the last name or the dates. ;-)
Leave it to me to make a Grand Exit.......
Now that things have settled back into their usual chaotic routine, I hope to get back to blogging and visiting around the blogosphere to catch up with my bloggy friends in the coming days.
Sluggy
This past week was difficult. Between all the in-laws descending on us for the funeral, Hubs having to drive across the state to fetch #1 son so he could be with the family here during this period of mourning and Hubs having to handle the bulk of the business stuff that needed doing because face it, half of his family is totally worthless when it comes to stepping up to the plate, it has been mighty stressful for us personally.
While my Hubs adored his mother, I had a contentious relationship with her at best. At first I think she felt that being involved with me, kept her 'baby' from achieving more in life. Eventually she got use to the idea that I wasn't going away and we settled into a relationship that worked for us, mostly because she kept her distance and was very hands off.
I think in a way we were very much alike in so many areas and that is why we butted heads.
I appreciate her for raising her kids to be decent human beings. She was the original Frugalista too, living through the Depression as one of a large family. She was very smart and graduated with honors from high school. She could have gone to college if they had had the money for it. Instead she fell in love, went to secretary school and worked until WWII was over and then married her soldier and raised a family. She passed on that thirst for knowledge to her kids. Her and my FIL were very poor starting out and suffered many injustices at the hands of my FIL's bigoted Italian-American family. They survived and flourished in spite of it.
She was always reading(and I'm not talking romance novels)and questioning authority and societal norms. She was not afraid to stand up to anyone, no matter their position in life. Quiet yet outspoken.
When her oldest son asked an African American woman to be his wife, she was the first person to welcome her with open arms into the family.
MIL has really been 'gone' for about 6 years due to advanced Alzheimer's. With the quality of her intellect, I was very sad to see that happen. I am sure that if she had been aware of what was actually happening to her, she would have been devastated.
My mother on the other hand went quickly from physical ailments. Having gone through both of their final years, I sure hope my body gives out before my mind does. 8-(
The actual service was brief but then there was the 2 hour drive, EACH WAY, to the cemetery in NJ and back here. And when going to or leaving metro NY area of NJ, you always have to consider rush hour traffic issues. Luckily, things timed out rather well so we weren't on the road during either rush hour periods.
And I was able to provide some comic relief to all who gathered at the cemetery. Last Thursday was exceptionally warm in our area, about 58 degrees in Jersey. The cemetery was still blanketed in a foot or so of snow. We had to walk about 500 yds. in about 6 inches of a melting, slushy, muddy mess of a half-assed shoveled pathway to get to the gravesite. I hadn't even considered this possibility when picking out my footwear!
So I was in a pair of purple low cut low heeled flats, tromping through the snow/slush/mud.
Ugh!
My feet were soaked to the bone by the time I took my 4th step.....
So I sucked it up and just soldiered on. On the way back to the road, I misstepped into a mud hole and turned my ankle. I pitched forward and went down headfirst into a foot of snow/slush, using my right hand/arm to catch myself from splaying out face down in the snow. Of course, everyone was already way ahead of me, including my Hubs, so when I yelled for him to help me, nobody came, let alone heard me. Oldest BIL's wife was still graveside snapping photos on her cellphone and she eventually saw me in my graceful position and came over. By then I had taken matters into my own hands and crawled a couple of feet to the left, like a half-human/half-crab and used a headstone to steady myself and get upright. I will always be grateful to Archie and Lucille for being there for me. Sorry but I didn't catch the last name or the dates. ;-)
Leave it to me to make a Grand Exit.......
Now that things have settled back into their usual chaotic routine, I hope to get back to blogging and visiting around the blogosphere to catch up with my bloggy friends in the coming days.
Sluggy
