I am here......it's just I am not all here.
I am just not myself lately.
Since my Daughter's meltdown I just haven't had any 'umph'.
My energy is just drained. I guess you'd say my energy is being used up in the worrying about her.
I just know there isn't much of me leftover for much else. I drag through the day and do the bare minimum I need to do like fixing food, bathing, moving clutter around in the house and planning meals.
Oh, I am just a great big ball of FUN lately, aren't I?
I do have enough "whatever" to sit here and read blogs though, but I just can't bring myself to call up enough brain power to comment much. Yeah, I run my mouth on a blog post here and there but I'm getting into a very negative place in the space between my ears and yeah, nobody wants to read crap I write when I am in that spot.
So I just don't.
I am having a hard time focusing on anything much.....except for genealogy.
I took another blog I started to be a clearing house for rebate offers and turned it into a personal journal where I can post about the shit I've been through in life and family stuff and how I see the family stuff.
Most of that sounds very negative as well but I feel I need to vent it or explode some days. Maybe it will help me work through some stuff I feel....maybe not. I just know that I need to get this stuff out of my head some days.
I have always been a big fan of that show "So Who Do You Think You Are?" on NBC. Saw all 6 of the 1st Season episodes a couple years ago and was HOOKED. It got me to begin searching around for my family history. Of course I didn't know WHAT I WAS DOING AT ALL! and over the last 2 years I would start and stop over and over again looking casually online for family.
I found a distant relative who is something like 94 years old 2 years ago who had done a shit ton of research on 1 line of my ancestors. This gentleman's great grandfather was the younger brother of my great great grandfather....or we share a great grandfather born in 1825...his is a 2x great, mine a 3 x great. He even charted the lines of all the descendants from this shared relative. His great uncle(my 3 x great gf)was so prolific that the gentleman I am related to had to put my branch of this family on it's own web page. hehehehe
Here is a photo of my great great great grandparents, Hugh and Sarah "Sally" Vassar. Hugh died in 1895(Sally in 1902)so this was taken around 1880.
I also found Hugh & family on the 1860 census(pre Civil War VA)with my then 5 year old 2x great grandfather, John "Jack" Alfred and his siblings living on a farm near Scottsburg, VA in what was then Halifax County.
Anyway, finding out all that made me hungry for more crumbs of information, so about a week ago I dropped a wad of cash and finally joined Ancestry dotcom.
So this should speed up my search.
Especially since I am finding it the biggest SUCKHOLE for my time, bar none!!!
I can sit here for HOURS sifting through Censuses and crap....it is not funny the time I can waste!
The BEST(very sarcastic here!) thing is......Hubs could give a rat's ass about genealogy and family history. Of course he doesn't know much about his family's past but he is all good with that.
I even spent some time trying to suck him in but searching on his families(Hey! I told him I'm doing this for our kids, so they know about their ancestors on BOTH sides!). He put up with helping/being interested with it for one evening and now he is done listening to me talk about this. I start and he gets this look on his face of annoyance. Now he knows how I've felt all these years when he went on and on about his job or his co-workers(people I don't give a rat's ass about!)and was forced to pretend to be interested. ;-)
So I guess I have to shut up about it with Hubs and just tell my other blog and all of y'all instead.....until y'all get tired and stop reading me.lolol
Sluggy
I am just not myself lately.
Since my Daughter's meltdown I just haven't had any 'umph'.
My energy is just drained. I guess you'd say my energy is being used up in the worrying about her.
I just know there isn't much of me leftover for much else. I drag through the day and do the bare minimum I need to do like fixing food, bathing, moving clutter around in the house and planning meals.
Oh, I am just a great big ball of FUN lately, aren't I?
I do have enough "whatever" to sit here and read blogs though, but I just can't bring myself to call up enough brain power to comment much. Yeah, I run my mouth on a blog post here and there but I'm getting into a very negative place in the space between my ears and yeah, nobody wants to read crap I write when I am in that spot.
So I just don't.
I am having a hard time focusing on anything much.....except for genealogy.
I took another blog I started to be a clearing house for rebate offers and turned it into a personal journal where I can post about the shit I've been through in life and family stuff and how I see the family stuff.
Most of that sounds very negative as well but I feel I need to vent it or explode some days. Maybe it will help me work through some stuff I feel....maybe not. I just know that I need to get this stuff out of my head some days.
I have always been a big fan of that show "So Who Do You Think You Are?" on NBC. Saw all 6 of the 1st Season episodes a couple years ago and was HOOKED. It got me to begin searching around for my family history. Of course I didn't know WHAT I WAS DOING AT ALL! and over the last 2 years I would start and stop over and over again looking casually online for family.
I found a distant relative who is something like 94 years old 2 years ago who had done a shit ton of research on 1 line of my ancestors. This gentleman's great grandfather was the younger brother of my great great grandfather....or we share a great grandfather born in 1825...his is a 2x great, mine a 3 x great. He even charted the lines of all the descendants from this shared relative. His great uncle(my 3 x great gf)was so prolific that the gentleman I am related to had to put my branch of this family on it's own web page. hehehehe
Here is a photo of my great great great grandparents, Hugh and Sarah "Sally" Vassar. Hugh died in 1895(Sally in 1902)so this was taken around 1880.
I also found Hugh & family on the 1860 census(pre Civil War VA)with my then 5 year old 2x great grandfather, John "Jack" Alfred and his siblings living on a farm near Scottsburg, VA in what was then Halifax County.
Anyway, finding out all that made me hungry for more crumbs of information, so about a week ago I dropped a wad of cash and finally joined Ancestry dotcom.
So this should speed up my search.
Especially since I am finding it the biggest SUCKHOLE for my time, bar none!!!
I can sit here for HOURS sifting through Censuses and crap....it is not funny the time I can waste!
The BEST(very sarcastic here!) thing is......Hubs could give a rat's ass about genealogy and family history. Of course he doesn't know much about his family's past but he is all good with that.
I even spent some time trying to suck him in but searching on his families(Hey! I told him I'm doing this for our kids, so they know about their ancestors on BOTH sides!). He put up with helping/being interested with it for one evening and now he is done listening to me talk about this. I start and he gets this look on his face of annoyance. Now he knows how I've felt all these years when he went on and on about his job or his co-workers(people I don't give a rat's ass about!)and was forced to pretend to be interested. ;-)
So I guess I have to shut up about it with Hubs and just tell my other blog and all of y'all instead.....until y'all get tired and stop reading me.lolol
Sluggy
