CleanseFest....Thar She Blows!!!

What can I say?
The CleanseFest at Chez Sluggy has been prematurely ended.
I was doing well with Phase One-the Slim Fast Week.
No Problems there......well, except for all the sweetness.
After 4 days of what was to be a WEEK of Phase One, because of conditions beyond my control, we moved to Phase Two-the Lemon Cleanse Week waaay ahead of schedule.

I lasted 2 DAYS.....ok, a few hours shy of 2 FULL Days on Phase Two before I threw in the Towel.

I rather enjoyed subsiding on nothing but pure water & lemon or lime with water. The hunger pains got to me a tad but I could deal with that.
I could also take the maple syrup added to the lemon water, no problem.
I didn't care for the cayenne pepper I was suppose to add(just a pinch!)to the lemon water but I could put the cayenne into capsules and take it that way to get around having a perpetual mouth on fire.
Straight pepper and I don't get along too well....
But.....

This whole deal of a Sea Salt Oral Enema first thing each morning was the deal breaker!!!
Yes, I was required to mix 2 teaspoons of sea salt into a quart of water(lukewarm)each morning upon rising and drink it down. It is suppose to shoot through your system and get 'things' moving, if you catch my drift.
O.
M.
G.

I tried.....really I did!
I got it down the first morning. Then I sat for 2 hours trying NOT to throw up. I kept it down but I was soooo nauseous for most of the day. Which made me a tad crankier than usual and did NOT lead me to get things done as planned.

And without getting too graphic, let's just say it had no ENEMA AFFECT on me, as it was suppose to.

The morning of Day Two I started feeling queasy just thinking about having to down another quart of tepid sea salt water. Daughter came downstairs on Day Two, took one look at me sitting there about to drink that glass of briny hotness and declared that she was quitting!
What a rat!!! So much for the Cleansing Buddy system!
She said she would cheer me on though......gee, thanks......what a kid! 8-P

Since my brain knew what was coming, every time I tried to put the glass to my lips, my gag reflex would kick in.
So, I tried putting some sea salt on the back of my tongue and washing it down with some plain water. I figured it would mix and dissolve on the way down my gullet and have the same affect down below(or not have the affect, as it didn't the day before). It was a little easier to stomach getting the salt and water down this way for me.
After 15 min. or so I had polished off the quart of H2O and the salt.
So I sat......and waited.......and waited......waited for those all too familiar waves of nausea. And they came and they screamed at me, "I'm not staying down!"
And I bolted for the bathroom and hurled FOUR quarts & swamped Mr. Tidy Bowl Man's little boat.

I stayed on the Lemon Water Concoction for the rest of the day before sending up the White Flag of surrender.

Lemon Cleanse 1
Sluggy 0

So, I'm going back to my Phase One regime for now and will contemplate another method to irrigating my innards that isn't something out of the Marquis de Sade Playbook.

I don't have a scale so I don't know if or how much actual weight I lost(if any), but I do feel better....not from the experience of drinking sea salt water but from the whole giving my gastrointestinal tract a bit of a break. The fasting part of this ordeal is something I want to do again and for a longer time when things here settle down a bit. We've got some stuff going on which is not going to let me doing any fasting for the time being.
We'll continue with this Project in some other form, in the near future hopefully.

Sluggy

Please Sir, I Want Some More......gruel, swill, anything!!

Day Two of the Cleansefest is over & in the books. I am feeling sort of like poor old Oliver Twist here, but I look more like the Orphanage Taskmaster holding the ladle......thus the need for a Cleansefest in the first place.lolol

Wednesday was a rough one to get through gastrointestinal-speaking. My schedule of 'meals were'--1 glass of orange juice with 2 big spoons of a fiber supplement & assorted vitamins and medications for breakfast, a SF shake for lunch, a SF shake for dinner & a Glucerna snack bar for a snack.
Fresh-brewed iced tea with lemon and water rounded out my fluid intake for the day.

Having things to do took my mind off of food, which helped. I had Gillette coupons to finish using. Then we had running the daughter to the Orthodonist....AGAIN! While we were out at their distant office, I ran into some CVSs & a WAGS to grab a few deals(or TRY to!)& rolls some RRs & ECBs. All totaled, I think I spent $7? yesterday for everything(including the iced coffee I had to buy daughter). I'll post the shopping and what I got later tonight or tomorrow.
Hubby was a doll and made his own dinner-frozen burritos and canned chili-so I wouldn't have to cook in my psychologically 'food vunerable' state.

The only bad thing about having errands/shopping to do yesterday was having to drive by aaaaaaalllll those fast food restaurants and smell aaaaaaaallllllll those wonderful MEAT COOKING SMELLS, which made my olfactory organs send signals to my digestive tract via my brain to CRAMP MY STOMACH UP INTO KNOTS!
Serious.
Hunger.
Pains of Death.

I think I actually blacked out for a moment at one point at a red light after passing a remarkably fragrant Burger King(must have been that flame-broiling!).
I came to, gnawing on the steering wheel.

I have 2 more days of this phase of the Project to get through, as we start the Lemon Flush phase on Saturday. We had to step up the timeline a few days, as daughter may be returning to camp the following Sat.(yes! there is a God)when we go to pick up #2 son, instead of in August. If she leaves next Sat. we have 7 days to get the Flush phase done with her here if we begin Sat., but wouldn't be able to fit but 3 or 4 days of Lemon Flush in otherwise.

So I have 2 more days of living on shakes & such before we go onto the Lemon stuff. I hope to stay out of the car(and thus off the roads driving by Food Temptations) today. I'll be digging out something from the Freezer in a bit for Hubby's dinner. This will be my temptation highpoint for the day, seeing all those cold blocks of food.
Yummmmmm.....

Sluggy

CleanseFest......like a Fat Farm but without the Glamour

Today is the 1st day of my CleanseFest. What is CleanseFest you ask?? It's my attempt to clean out my digestive system.

Week One involves 4 Slim-Fast drinks spread throughout the day, 1 glass of Orange Juice with a Fiber supplement, some fresh fruit, some vitamin/mineral supplements, green tea & alot of water drinking.
Oh, and ALOT of running to the bathroom too!lol

It's not strictly a liquid diet regiment but it's close.

Week Two we move to the Lemon Cleanse phase. No food, just tea, water & the maple syrup/cayenne pepper lemonade stuff and my vitamin and supplements.
We'll see how long I can stand this. I am not hopeful that I'll last 2 full weeks.

Please realize that I am under the care of my doctor with this. I'll have a check-up after the 2 weeks are up.

I was inspired to do this by this article I read a year or so ago by a British journalist who was paid to go experience & report on the granddaddy of all Health/Fasting Spas in Thailand....The Spa on the Thai Island of Koh Samui. You can read the original article Here.
The journalist's photographer passed a marble he had ingested as a small child during his treatment at the spa. That was enough for me to know this kind of thing would clean you out.lol
I am not going to the extreme of coffee enemas like the Spa in Thailand does however. Nor am I paying to jet to Thailand or even buy their prepackaged "do-it-yourself" fasting/cleanse kit. This will be my version of a 'frugal cleanse'. I bought the SlimFast on sale, with coupons at KMart a couple of weeks ago. And the Lemons needed for Week Two are in season now so I won't have to spend a fortunate for fresh fruit.

The only thing that might sink me is the intense hunger pains. Ya see, I can endure most any kind of pain(can we say teeth drilling w/out novacaine or natural childbirth of not-one-drug with 1 of my offspring?), except hunger pains. These pains have been the ruin of many of my tries to reduce my food intake. I don't know....it's like I'm hyper-sensitive to them. If I can keep them at bay for the 1st 3 days, I've got a shot at lasting 2 weeks.

I am also doing this at home, where the demands of cleaning, shopping, cooking, & other work is ever present. No going to a spa where I can lounge by the pool and read or nap. Things need to get done so I can't just concentrate on 'me'. But then again, staying busy will keep me from obsessing over every ounce of anything I'm ingesting and how long to the next glass of whatever.

Day One is almost over here. I have 1 shake still to drink later tonight. I made Hubby's Spaghetti & Meatballs without drooling into his plate. I get a glass of iced tea and some cantaloupe to suck on in a few minutes. Yay!!!
Tomorrow or Thursday I am sure I'll start to have to stick close to the bathroom as my body realizes the regular food has stopped coming down the gullet.
Uh oh......
I will spare you from the grizzly pictures.lol

Sluggy