Showing posts with label the help. Show all posts
Showing posts with label the help. Show all posts

Sunday, March 25, 2012

You Is Kind, You Is Smart, You Is Important....



A few weeks ago I rented the movie "The Help" and viewed it.  I pretty much got emotionally involved with the characters in that movie and found myself balling like a baby while watching it.  I watched it again and had the same reaction.
At first I thought the story line dealing with racism was what was behind my reaction.
But with time, I discounted that theory.

Now, if you KNOW me, you know that I am not an emotional person.  That is to say, that I don't wear my heart on my sleeve and I don't break down into tears at the sight of puppies or the thought of sad or troubling situations, like the characters in The Help were involved in.

I grew up a white daughter of a middle class family in Southern Virginia in the 1960's and 1970's.  So I am well aware of what society was like during the time period that The Help takes place in.
But my strong reaction wasn't due to the racial tolerance/acceptance issues explored in the film.
It was something else.

And I finally figured out why I had the reaction I did to the film.
It's because of this throw-away, minor character......
The little girl, Mae Mobley Leefolt.





Yes, I figured it out.....I AM Mae Mobley!


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Here is an excerpt for the book, THE HELP,  by Kathryn Stockett.......

"August 1962
Mae Mobley was born on a early Sunday morning in August, 1960. A church baby we like to call it. Taking care a white babies, that's what I do, along with all the cooking and the cleaning. I done raised seventeen kids in my lifetime. I know how to get them babies to sleep, stop crying, and go in the toilet bowl before they mamas even get out a bed in the morning.

But I ain't never seen a baby yell like Mae Mobley Leefolt. First day I walk in the door, there she be, red-hot and hollering with the colic, fighting that bottle like it's a rotten turnip. Miss Leefolt, she look terrified a her own child. "What am I doing wrong? Why can't I stop it?"
It? That was my first hint: something is wrong with this situation.
So I took that pink, screaming baby in my arms. Bounced her on my hip to get the gas moving and it didn't take two minutes fore Baby Girl stopped her crying, got to smiling up at me like she do. But Miss Leefolt, she don't pick up her own baby for the rest a the day. I seen plenty a womens get the baby blues after they done birthing. I reckon I thought that's what it was.
Here's something about Miss Leefolt: she not just frowning all the time, she skinny. Her legs is so spindly, she look like she done growed em last week. Twenty-three years old and she lanky as a fourteen-year-old boy. Even her hair is thin, brown, see-through. She try to tease it up, but it only make it look thinner. Her face be the same shape as that red devil on the redhot candy box, pointy chin and all. Fact, her whole body be so full a sharp knobs and corners, it's no wonder she can't soothe that baby. Babies like fat. Like to bury they face up in you armpit and go to sleep. They like big fat legs too. That I know.
By the time she a year old, Mae Mobley following me around everwhere I go. Five o'clock would come round and she'd be hanging on my Dr. Scholl shoe, dragging over the floor, crying like I weren't never coming back. Miss Leefolt, she'd narrow up her eyes at me like I done something wrong, unhitch that crying baby off my foot. I reckon that's the risk you run, letting somebody else raise you chilluns.
Mae Mobley two years old now. She got big brown eyes and honey-color curls. But the bald spot in the back of her hair kind a throw things off. She get the same wrinkle between her eyebrows when she worried, like her mama. They kind a favor except Mae Mobley so fat. She ain't gone be no beauty queen. I think it bother Miss Leefolt, but Mae Mobley my special baby."
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My family wasn't "society" white people and we didn't have a maid to clean, cook and raise our family's children like the folks explored in The Help.  (It might have been better for me psychologically, in a way, if we had had a maid.)

We were lower middle class white people and my father was a social climber. He pulled himself and our family up from the echelons of the working class into the lower fringe of society in a large metropolitan city in Virginia by his sheer will and business acumen before a divorce and my parent's personal lives tore it all apart.

But in the society class or middle class, among white people in the South of this time, there was not only racism toward non-whites as a group, but there was a large festering sore called sexism toward their white women and girls.

In the South of that time, a woman was only worth her physical beauty. Meaning, women, in order to be of any value to their white society, needed to be pretty. This indoctrination started pretty much from birth.  You see this in the Skeeter character.  She voices that she is a disappointment to her mother for not being a pretty "society girl" and for going to college and working, instead of marrying, staying home, playing bridge and popping out babies.

Being smart was a bonus, but if you weren't a pretty girl, you could just forget going anywhere in life. Your place in society started with how well you married and an ugly woman was lucky to find a husband at all unless her family had a LOT of money and power.

Women were not encouraged to work but to stay home, look pretty and give her husband children and assure his standing in the community.
The only women who worked were those with a very strong will(who were also still married and worked as a "hobby" and didn't need the money), and those who were divorced or widowed or who's husband's for some reason couldn't/didn't support their family......and usually in that situation, these women would go home to their parents and let the grandparents support the children and the abandoned wife.

Though technically women in the South had had the vote since the 19th Amendment in 1917, could own land and even leave their father's home without having to be married first by 1963, a woman with no physical charms was a disappointment to her parents and a burden to unload.
And these girls who didn't measure up were told in so many ways, both directly and indirectly through the ways in which they were treated, that they were a cross to bear.

Like this Mae Mobley character was treated......she "aint gone be no beauty queen.  I think it bother Miss Leefolt."  Mae is the kind of Southern daughter I was.

I identify with her so completely, that it took my breath away and the parts of the movie she was in just made me ball.

I'll explore more how I relate to the Mae Mobley character as a young white woman growing up in the South  of the 1960's in another post at another time.

Sluggy

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Week #4 Low Spend & Declutter Challenge....I'm Done!


I have officially finished CARLA'S FEBRUARY DOUBLE CHALLENGE MONTH.....yay!  Here are my results with photos for Week 4.

First the Mini-Challenge....which was to put yourself FIRST!  Do something for yourself for a change.
And I did but with mixed results.
I spent a whole $1.99 on myself and rented a movie I had been wanting to see.
The movie?...."The Help".  I also want to read the book but will do that through the local library.

While I didn't feel guilty for spending the money and taking the time to watch it twice in one sitting(lol), I do, in a way, regret watching it.
Loved the movie, loved the fine acting.
But it made me ball like a baby!
Seriously.
Boo.
Hoo.

Even now I think about the story and I start getting weepy.
I am trying for the life of me to figure out WHY it affected me so.
I am not someone who cries at movies.....
Weird.

Onward to the Low Spending Part--
Feb. 22....spent $26.25 taking #2 Son out to Red Robin.  His meal was free! ;-) Went to Rite-Aid but no actual money was spent.
Feb. 23....no spending
Feb. 24....Went to Rite-Aid but no actual money was spent. Hubs & I got take-out, spent $19.50.
Feb. 25....$13.61 spent on groceries.
Feb. 26.... no spending
Feb. 27....$3.98 spent on groceries and I filled my car with gas-$48.01.  ouch....*sigh*
Feb. 28....$4.90 spent to mail our federal taxes.
I'm adding in Feb. 29 and I am staying home and don't plan on spending anything that day either.

No frivolous or unconscious spending this week....food, gas, taxes.  While the eating out is not a NEED, we can afford this little bit and budget for it, so the week is all good. 8-)

Onward to the Decluttering Part--

This final week was the DREADED CHALLENGE.
At my house, that is the garage.
We don't park cars in the garage.
I use it for storage.  With a large food & toiletries stockpile and selling toys now and again(which also means I need storage for shipping boxes), I have a lot of crap in my garage.  Add in storing certain household goods out there, a christmas tree, Hubs tools and workbench, window air conditioners, extra paint and flooring and anything else the kids & Hubs throw out there, my garage is quite a beast to tame.

Here are the pics I took BEFORE and then AFTER spending an hour or two out there 5 of the last 7 days.

From the middle of the end of the garage driveway BEFORE.....


And AFTER......after putting things away, putting things back where they belong and moving the tubs of toys into the living room...ugh.....


The left side of the garage from the driveway BEFORE......


And AFTER.....not much moved but straightened....


The rightside of the Stockpile BEFORE.....


And AFTER rotating some, putting bags away, organizing some.....


The right side of the garage near the door into the house BEFORE.....




And AFTER, not quite showing the same spot....the boxes are empties for shipping stuff and the tubs are our recycling storage set-up.  I did get rid of enough toys to empty 2 plastic tubs, which I can now freecycle.....


The other side of the Stockpile, standing at the back of the garage looking out BEFORE.....



And AFTER.....a little can straightening and a lot of shipping supplies straightening....



Standing in the same spot, shooting to the right instead of the left BEFORE.....



And AFTER......shipping stuff is organized and shelving taken apart but still deciding what to do with it....



 By the door into the house  BEFORE....

And AFTER-2 different shots because I didn't stand in the same spot for this After shot.....bags of food put away, boxes relocated or emptied, etc.....



Hubs workbench area is still a disaster but it's not MY disaster so I didn't show it. lol
I still have work to do out there but the garage is much improved and easier to find stuff.

I am glad for participating in this Challenge mostly because it got me moving on some things I've been putting off or ignoring.  Having to be accountable helped me just DO IT!
Now it's on to MARCH and to decide what to undertake going forward.

So how was your February?
Did you get some task started or completed that you've been putting off or dreading?

Sluggy