First off, I grew up in the South so it's a place I feel more comfortable as a general rule. I understand the Southern mindset.
Though I've lived in Yankee land since 1984, most of my married life, I had hoped to return
below the Mason-Dixon Line at some point.
Retirement might just be that point and Louisiana just might be that location.
No matter where we move to I'll be fine. I am a master at being alone. Big difference between being lonely and being alone and many people don't understand that. I am comfortable with myself enough to enjoy lots of alone time. I am good company. ;-) I have always been most productive when left alone. If the community we end up living in is unfriendly, I can deal with it, because I've dealt with it for many years already.
I HATED living in northeastern NJ the almost 3 years we were forced to be there. I met some
lovely people while there but mostly it was a horrible experience......too many pushy people, too noisy, too polluted, crazy drivers, too expensive and full of pretentious *A*holes. You get the idea.
When we moved into our first house in the Pocono Mountains. of PA, by comparison, it was heaven. A community with few year round residents at the beginning, natural beauty and
unspoiled vistas. A serene place to live and much cheaper. The drawback was how far we
were to services, stores and having utilities go out in the winter. AND the winters.......averages
of 100 inches per Winter Season(in a light precipitation year). Hard to dig out(especially with
just shovels)and hard to get to a job.
In a way I loved the isolation at that time in my life(this was before the internet too)but was also
able to make a few friends.....until they either died(the older people I was friends with) or left to go back to the Metro NY/NJ area because they missed living there so much(which I just can't even imagine! lol)
Then that place changed as we were invaded en masse by New York City-ites and eastern New
Jersey-ites, looking to relocate their families to an area away from crime and expensive living,
while they toiled away at their NYC jobs with large salaries. The employed in these families
would stay in the city during the week and come home on weekends.
There were nice families among these newer transplants but the migration also brought the big
city problems of crime, drugs, noise, et cetera with them. I didn't mind going to the community
pool and never hearing English spoken the whole time(lolz) but some of these new residents thought themselves above the PA laws and because our sleepy little town had little police protection all
kinds of shenanigans made itself known and disrupted our lives on a daily basis.
These transplants brought their big city problems and big city ways along with them.
Wild parties into the wee hours every weekend in good weather and new or unlicensed hunters
with no gun learning using our development to take pot shots at wildlife, which brought up the number of "accidental" gunshot victims. Then there were the "Summertime only" residents
from NYC and Metro NJ who would invade our hometowns and as many folks on vacation are
known to do, leave their brains at home.
Hey, I grew up in a Tourist town so I know this type of behavior well. lolz
It all got to be too much for our little growing family(who wants to worry about letting their
young kids go outside in a private community-not in a game lands area, in the Fall even with
wearing Orange so some idiot doesn't mistake them for a deer and kill them?!).
Plus Hubs wanted a shorter commute to work so we moved further into PA. While this put
distance between us and the obnoxious/entitled metro NY/NJ behavior folks, we moved right
into the midst of provincial small town PA behavior.
We've lived here almost 14 years now and I STILL don't fit in.
That's what happens when you move into a small close knit town where everyone has lived
here for 5 generations(at least).
These folks keep to their "own kind" and after 14 years I am still not accepted.
Lord knows how I tried, at least for the sake of my kids so they'd have friends.
I have extended invitations and put myself out numerous times just to be rebuffed.
But I refused to be miserable, so I kept to myself and threw myself into my family and some online activities/groups and had a happy little life. Well, except for the overspending and hoarding phase...lol
I joined stuff here like the PTA, I was a room mom(what a disaster THAT was! lolz), I volun-
teered for things, I let them have those kid birthday parties and pool parties, whatever I could do so they would "fit in".
I hope the little shits appreciated the crap I went through...... ;-)
And I tried NOT to influence the kids with my very negative view about the folks I interacted
with in this town.
Even with all I did, the funny thing is.....all 3 of my kids couldn't WAIT to move away from
this town.
Two did and as soon as he's out of college, the third will be joining them.
They all have maintained very few, if any, friendships with the kids they grew up with.
As my kids left home I have had less need to interact with the people who live around me.
And that suits me fine. I don't need anybody here to be happy. With my 3rd kid almost
graduated high school, besides the cashiers at the stores and the bank tellers I'll have no need to
interact with anybody around here anymore.
I may have been a hermit in a previous life, as that type of living arrangement suits me fine for the most part.
4 more years and I am out of here! I am sure we can find a friendlier corner of the country
to live in.
If I could survive in Metro NY/NJ and then here for 14 years(and counting)I am sure I can adapt
and get along most anywhere.
I don't need a grand house, or even a large house. Just leave me be, to be who I am.
So even though we are looking at houses/properties in a part of the country we have little
experience in, I am sure we can be happy there, whether or not it's a welcoming community
or not. I'll patch together some sort of support system and be perfectly content being left alone
by the folks in that town/area.
As long as I have all my long distance friends......
Sluggy
Though I've lived in Yankee land since 1984, most of my married life, I had hoped to return
below the Mason-Dixon Line at some point.
Retirement might just be that point and Louisiana just might be that location.
No matter where we move to I'll be fine. I am a master at being alone. Big difference between being lonely and being alone and many people don't understand that. I am comfortable with myself enough to enjoy lots of alone time. I am good company. ;-) I have always been most productive when left alone. If the community we end up living in is unfriendly, I can deal with it, because I've dealt with it for many years already.
I HATED living in northeastern NJ the almost 3 years we were forced to be there. I met some
lovely people while there but mostly it was a horrible experience......too many pushy people, too noisy, too polluted, crazy drivers, too expensive and full of pretentious *A*holes. You get the idea.
When we moved into our first house in the Pocono Mountains. of PA, by comparison, it was heaven. A community with few year round residents at the beginning, natural beauty and
unspoiled vistas. A serene place to live and much cheaper. The drawback was how far we
were to services, stores and having utilities go out in the winter. AND the winters.......averages
of 100 inches per Winter Season(in a light precipitation year). Hard to dig out(especially with
just shovels)and hard to get to a job.
In a way I loved the isolation at that time in my life(this was before the internet too)but was also
able to make a few friends.....until they either died(the older people I was friends with) or left to go back to the Metro NY/NJ area because they missed living there so much(which I just can't even imagine! lol)
Then that place changed as we were invaded en masse by New York City-ites and eastern New
Jersey-ites, looking to relocate their families to an area away from crime and expensive living,
while they toiled away at their NYC jobs with large salaries. The employed in these families
would stay in the city during the week and come home on weekends.
There were nice families among these newer transplants but the migration also brought the big
city problems of crime, drugs, noise, et cetera with them. I didn't mind going to the community
pool and never hearing English spoken the whole time(lolz) but some of these new residents thought themselves above the PA laws and because our sleepy little town had little police protection all
kinds of shenanigans made itself known and disrupted our lives on a daily basis.
These transplants brought their big city problems and big city ways along with them.
Wild parties into the wee hours every weekend in good weather and new or unlicensed hunters
with no gun learning using our development to take pot shots at wildlife, which brought up the number of "accidental" gunshot victims. Then there were the "Summertime only" residents
from NYC and Metro NJ who would invade our hometowns and as many folks on vacation are
known to do, leave their brains at home.
Hey, I grew up in a Tourist town so I know this type of behavior well. lolz
It all got to be too much for our little growing family(who wants to worry about letting their
young kids go outside in a private community-not in a game lands area, in the Fall even with
wearing Orange so some idiot doesn't mistake them for a deer and kill them?!).
Plus Hubs wanted a shorter commute to work so we moved further into PA. While this put
distance between us and the obnoxious/entitled metro NY/NJ behavior folks, we moved right
into the midst of provincial small town PA behavior.
We've lived here almost 14 years now and I STILL don't fit in.
That's what happens when you move into a small close knit town where everyone has lived
here for 5 generations(at least).
These folks keep to their "own kind" and after 14 years I am still not accepted.
Lord knows how I tried, at least for the sake of my kids so they'd have friends.
I have extended invitations and put myself out numerous times just to be rebuffed.
But I refused to be miserable, so I kept to myself and threw myself into my family and some online activities/groups and had a happy little life. Well, except for the overspending and hoarding phase...lol
I joined stuff here like the PTA, I was a room mom(what a disaster THAT was! lolz), I volun-
teered for things, I let them have those kid birthday parties and pool parties, whatever I could do so they would "fit in".
I hope the little shits appreciated the crap I went through...... ;-)
And I tried NOT to influence the kids with my very negative view about the folks I interacted
with in this town.
Even with all I did, the funny thing is.....all 3 of my kids couldn't WAIT to move away from
this town.
Two did and as soon as he's out of college, the third will be joining them.
They all have maintained very few, if any, friendships with the kids they grew up with.
As my kids left home I have had less need to interact with the people who live around me.
And that suits me fine. I don't need anybody here to be happy. With my 3rd kid almost
graduated high school, besides the cashiers at the stores and the bank tellers I'll have no need to
interact with anybody around here anymore.
I may have been a hermit in a previous life, as that type of living arrangement suits me fine for the most part.
4 more years and I am out of here! I am sure we can find a friendlier corner of the country
to live in.
If I could survive in Metro NY/NJ and then here for 14 years(and counting)I am sure I can adapt
and get along most anywhere.
I don't need a grand house, or even a large house. Just leave me be, to be who I am.
So even though we are looking at houses/properties in a part of the country we have little
experience in, I am sure we can be happy there, whether or not it's a welcoming community
or not. I'll patch together some sort of support system and be perfectly content being left alone
by the folks in that town/area.
As long as I have all my long distance friends......
Sluggy
