While my current meltdown is not radioactive, I'm having a really bad week. Not "loved ones dying kind of week" but the "nothing is working out right kind of weeks" that's left me an emotional puddle of goo.
I have like a zillion projects and things I need to attend to here. And nothing is getting done. Making lists won't help since there is no one to delegate jobs to, so the lists just remind me what a failure the situation is right now. There is no cooperation from the family, just more pressure.
Plus my health is not the best and no matter what I do, it's not getting any better. Maybe I just need to face the fact that my body is older than my mind thinks it is and it just can't do what I want it to do anymore.
Ok, so this is turning into a 'poor poor pitiful me' post and I don't want that because well, nobody wants to sit and read that, right?lol
I am at a point where I have no motivation for literally ANYTHING! I don't want to cook or clean or tackle any projects(except the gardening and I can't do much of that myself). "If breathing weren't automatic I'd probably die" kind of lack of motivation.
I don't even want to hunt the deals.....shocking, I know!lol
I am burnt out of eBay already(again!lol), and my decluttering has come to a standstill. Decluttering because of the hoarding gene I possess is an emotional ordeal at best for me anyway, but add in the lack of support from my family and I ask myself, " why the hell am I trying to accomplish this since it feels like a punch to the gut every time I try?".
Add in a situation with one of the dogs that keeps deteriorating and I am made out to be the bad guy because I don't want him here. My house is a mess and we can't do anything about it because of this dog....a dog that was forced upon me to begin with.
Then pile on a weeklong stay by a relative that is putting more pressure on me that I don't want/need because I have a hubby who won't stand up to his family.
I just want to get in the car and drive. I haven't felt like this since I had extremely bad post partum depression after #2 son was born, were I sat and cried for 6 months and then did actually leave home.
So keep some good thoughts for me.....
Sluggy
