Thursday, December 19, 2019

My Heart is Breaking

I just found out a dear old friend of mine is dying.

I knew something wasn't quite right when I never got the expected Christmas card from Tom.
Though life got in the way and we weren't in close contact since we both married and had children there was always that Christmas card to catch me up a bit on his life.

I received a letter from Tom's wife earlier this week with horrible news about brain cancer, glioblastoma 4, and the fact that Tom was now in hospice care and not expected to make it to Christmas.

Tom came into my life in college.  He was a couple years out of college and lived in Baltimore and worked at the Baltimore Sun.  He was also involved in amateur theater locally and ended up acting in quite a few plays at Goucher College where I attended.  Goucher was an all-girl's college at that time so we drew from the community(and sometimes the faculty)to fill all our male roles.

We had a connection through our shared loved of theater and opera as well as Gilbert and Sullivan operetta.

It was Tom who brought to my attention a comical farce of a play written by W. S. Gilbert  called "Engaged" that became my Senior Production.
This infrequently produced little gem of a play turned out to be the perfect acting vehicle for Tom in the lead role of Cheviot Hill.
And he was a smashing Cheviot!

Anyway, time went on, I graduated and got on with my life and Tom got on with his and the Fates, in their infinite wisdom decided to grant Tom a brain tumor.

If anyone in the world should have this medical diagnosis it shouldn't be Tom.
He is one of the kindest, gentlest souls I have ever known and my heart breaks for his wife and daughter.
Jane, the wife, in the midst of all this is also dealing with the death of her mother which is a shitty thing in and of itself but let's just bring down all the crap the world can throw at someone to make a big massive ball of turds.

Which brings us to the point of this missive.

I know it's the Holidays, so excuse me for being a "bummer" right now.  I know everyone has their own crosses to bear and folks in their own lives to hold up.

Jane could use a little financial help if you are thusly moved.  I don't want anyone to go into debt or hand over money they have a need for but if you are a charitable soul who likes to "pay it forward" or give extra at the Holidays in some way, I am sure Tom and Jane could use whatever anyone feels compelled to give to their cause.  The medical bills and associated costs(even with good insurance coverage)are starting to pile up.  At the end of this journey Jane will be left a widow and in deep medical debt in her late 50's.

Here is the link to a GoFundMe page their niece has set up to help.

Tom's GoFundMe Site

And here's a couple of clips/songs from a G&S works we both enjoyed but is one of their more obscure collaborations called "Patience", which is not performed often(mores the pity).
Enjoy them and thanks for reading this post and helping if you can. ;-)



  1. I am so sorry to hear about your friend. It's so hard. My mother passed away from glioblastoma almost two months ago on October 29th. She fought for 30 months. The worst thing our family has ever gone through. We miss her so much.

  2. I am so sorry about your friend Sluggy, that is truly terrible. It always seems like the best get taken far too young. Hugs

  3. I am so sorry for your fiend, his wife and daughter, and his dear friends like you. Crap hits people, good people, and often in multiple doses. I guess we just need to be thankful and appreciate our own good times, and be there for friends and family-and hope reverse-when the bad comes.

  4. The tip thing was kind of weird but I’m in.

    Jen G.

  5. I'm sorry. I know it hurts.


  6. So sorry to hear about your friend. That is truly sad. He sounds like a wonderful person. Cancer sucks.

  7. Slugs, I am sorry about your friend. Losing someone when they are young like us (snort) is hard. Losing someone at any time is hard. Here is is Christmas and I want you to be happy. Hugs to you.


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