A Missive From Sonya Ann

I told her she didn't have to share all this but she wants to and I said I'd post it on my blog so here is Sonya Ann, in her own words..............

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Hello everyone, its Sonya Ann here. I wanted to say a massive thank you to everyone that has included me in their prayers, sent me a card/money. You have no idea how much your love and support has helped me. I would especially like to thank sluggy. She has been a saving grace in this mess I call my life. Her kind words, her support, and her generous use of the F word has helped me through one of the darkest times in my life. I love you.

Where to start? October 12th was our 23rd anniversary. October 13th was Den's birthday and October 15th, Dennis told me that he wanted a divorce. I asked him if he was cheating and he wouldn't answer. I guess now the baby cards that we were getting in the mail make sense. I ignored my gut feeling for a very long time. I've stopped doing that now. He went to his parents on the day that he said he wanted a divorce. They found/hired/paid for the best law firm in the area. I never received a call from them. After a month, I blocked them. There was nothing that needed to be said at that point, I know where I stand with them. I have been a 2nd class citizen in their family from the beginning, why would it change during the divorce. I guess my blog was about what I wanted to see, not what the truth was. I found a lawyer and then fired that lawyer. He laughed and scoffed at me. He said with a snicker, you know that he has been planning this for a long time.

Anna and DJ have been wonderful. I have asked God over and over, why I suffered through so much pain. But seeing the kindness and love in my children's eyes, has made me realize that I have not wasted 23 years.I've gained a family. Two people that would walk through Hell with me.

Dennis said to me once that he married below his class and that was exactly how he treated me for our marriage. Coming from such a terrible childhood, I guess that I allowed the abuse because that was all that I knew. He is an alcoholic and is/was out of control. I no longer have contact with him. He said that he is living with his parents but the cell phone bill shows that he has other interests. I'm good with that knowledge. Let her deal with his snoring, insults and drinking until he pees himself and leaving it for someone else to clean up.

The kids and I are much closer than we have ever been. Anna has been a life saver. After he left, she told me a few things from her childhood and the bottom fell out. I thought the divorce was bad but that information crushed me. I failed her. She is in counseling now. And I have been calling a women's crisis line for help.

And it just wouldn't be my life if there wasn't more craziness added to the mix. I kept seeing an older black SUV in front of the house. At first, I thought that Dennis had sent a realtor out to access the house. But then the SUV started coming back with a big thug in it. I saw it a few times and thought that I was just being paranoid.  I mentioned it to my neighbor. He said that he had seen it over half a dozen times and that it now sits farther up the road where I can't see them but they can see if I leave. I have no idea what that is about but they haven't been back for about a month. I have the odd feeling that his new GF is scouting me out.

The furnace quit. I fixed it with a spoon. Don't ask, just nod and shake your head. The water wouldn't drain out of the tub and I ended up bailing water forever. The upstairs toilet is leaking into the bathroom downstairs. I figure that Dennis is finally going to have to do some chores in this house. This is just the madness that I am dealing with on top of everything else. I ran over two skunks. I started to cry but the smell got to me and I gagged and sort of cried. I finally decided that I needed to do something nice for myself and I went and had my toes done. Do you want to know what I got for putting myself first? Two infected toes. 

I've been packing and sorting 23 years of stuff. The house is a train-wreck. Oh well, I guess things like that don't matter anymore.  I won't get in trouble if something is out of place. And that is a nice feeling. I haven't missed the narcissist yet so that says something about the level of abuse.

And here is the craziest part of this whole plan, I have decided to move out toward Vegas. I know it sounds like madness but we have a family plan. Anna will be about 4 hours away from me. DJ is graduating with his Masters in accounting in 1.5 years. He wasn't planning on staying in IL or IN. And there are tons of casinos that need accountants. I thought about staying in IL or moving to Phoenix but the cost of living is so high that the little bit of money that I get from the divorce would be eaten up quickly. And then I really wouldn't have any options. I can almost live on minimum wage in Vegas. And not to fear, I am not going to go on a gambling/drinking binge, I'll be too poor for that. Both of the kids like this plan. And living somewhere warm has been on my bucket list since I was young.

Out of all of the madness some wonderful things have happened. I know without a doubt that God is here for me and helping me. My faith is stronger than ever. He has sent some wonderful and caring people to help me. He has also shown me who can't be trusted. And that I need to trust myself more.

My "best friend" told me that it takes two people to ruin a marriage even after I told her everything. Sigh. I have been clearing out my stash of cleaning/health/beauty products. I'm not leaving them for asshole and his new woman. I drove over to my "best friend's" house to drop them off. She wasn't paying attention and backed into my parked van before I could get out. She crushed the bumper of my van. Her concern and her husband's concern was only for their new car. She said sorry and they left. She texted me later and said that they didn't have the money to pay for it but I could turn it into my insurance. Ummm no thank you. My van is only worth about $1000 and they would total it and then I would really be sunk. It cost me $400 to fix it. It is scraped up but it isn't dented anymore.

Another neighbor and her new BF have come through for me like nothing that I have ever seen before. They both have been divorced and she deals with legal documents all the time for work. The three of us went to work on fighting one of the best legal teams in IL. They have truly been a gift. They have sent over food, had me over for dinner and just loved me even when I was a train-wreck.

I finally found a good female lawyer and she was quite impressed with how far that I have gotten against such a good firm. We are very close to having it settled and I am grateful for that.

The funny part is I've been asked out a few times. Those men have very low standards. I look ghastly. I've lost about 35 pounds. And since I lost it so fast my face is drooping and my neck looks like a hairless nutsack.

So that's about it for my madness. Oh wait, DJ is gay. It took some getting used to but then I realized that the gay jokes are now at a whole new level. And I am grateful to have Ricky(DJ's BF) in my life. He is a kind and caring soul.

Again, I just want to say thank you to every single person that has thought about me. You have made me feel loved and important.

Love and gratitude,

Sonya Ann

PS-If you feel the need to say a few prayers for me that would be wonderful and appreciated. Also if you know of a good neck/nut cream that helps with wrinkles that would be appreciated too.

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Sluggy