If you haven't seen this on my Facebook already, #2 son's Marching Band had a big regional tournament Sunday in Hershey PA. The band performed very well and they won their Division! In addition they were awared top honors in 4 individual areas.
I am so glad to see them do well finally. Our Band Parent's Association hosts one of the big local Tourneys at the high school. Our band finished last in the 'open' division at that. Our band is very small. Our band gets next to zero $s from the school district, so the parents are saddled with most of the costs to cloth, host competitions, travel to competitions, etc. This lack of resources puts our band at a large disadvantage next to other schools who have much larger parent associations as well as more funding. We usually compete in the open division but with the big glitzy bands the kids have to compete with, they never finish very high up the food chain.
There is one local band that we have a David and Goliath type competition with.....to put it into GLEE SPEAK(for those of you who are "gleeks", we are New Directions and we compete with Vocal Adrenalin.
And after working the tourney our band hosts and seeing the directors and parents and the kids in this Goliath band up close and personal, I can honestly say that most of them that I have had to deal with are NOT very nice people. They are rude, the universe revolves around them and their needs, and they have no class.
So seeing as we really can't compete on an equal footing with the Mega-Bands, we now compete in a different division. And it seems to be paying off.
Speaking of people who think the universe revolves around them.....
We are having large problems with our Daughter. She has always been too smart for her own good. Getting good grades, etc. has been a nice result. But she has "too big for her britches" syndrome and has had it for the last 5 years or so. She feels she is the center of the universe and she treats other people(her family)like dog poo....unless of course, she wants something from you, and then she treats you nice until she gets her way. She no longer wishes to be associated with our family except for us to do for her and give her her own way in things. She doesn't feel the need to respect her parents or her siblings, or to lift a finger to help the family. It's all a big she takes and we give.
If fact, she is making life so stressful for her parents and her younger brother when she is home that we are at the point that once she turns 18 next month, she may be asked to find someplace else to live.
I love my Daughter and I thought we could make the current living situation work well enough to get her graduated and off to college(which would have her NOT living here then), but I'm not so sure we can make it until June. My health is suffering and she is becoming verbally abusive toward me.
Unfortunately we don't have any family locally who we can pack her off to for awhile until things cool off or she grows up a tad so I don't know what you are going to do.
In other news.....Daughter got her acceptance to Ohio State today. I have no clue WHY she applied there. We aren't big OH football fans and we don't live in Ohio.lol
But she did and she got in.
We are still waiting for the "yeah" or "ney" from the one school we haven't heard back from....Penn State.
Hopefully soon.
I have reopened my eBay store for the Holidays. SSP(aka Shameless Self Promotion) link is HERE.
I'm hoping even with the economy and the sluggishness of eBay, I can unload some goodies to the Holiday buyers. I am concentrating on listing toys and collectibles since it's the gift buying time of year. Even with this heavy stuff at Christmas someone might overlook the shipping expense more and I can get some of these large weighty items outta here!lol
At any rate, my living room and dining room now looks like a postal warehouse has exploded in there with all the bubble wrap, boxes and merchandise everywhere. Throw in a few boxes loaded with fabric since I store those in there and it's such a lovely sight.lol
The one thing that all my years doing eBay has done for me? It has made me an expert at re-cutting and gerryrigging boxes for shipping. Now, if there was some industry where I could put this skill to work for me as a career....besides eBay that is.lol
I cleaned the interior of my minivan on Sunday. It was LOOOOOONG overdue! For the past 2 years I have told the kids that if they wanted to make some extra money that cleaning my car was tops on that list and the money was available at any time should they undertake that chore.
2 years and it was still undone.
So I hauled out the vacuum cleaner, clorox wipes, windex and newspaper and just got it done before winter weather sets in.
I made a run to the grocery store Saturday evening and we ended the qualifying period with $115 in purchases....so not EVEN halfway to the amount we needed to spend to get that $15 certificate.
Oh well.
Last year I ended up doing the Price Chopper Turkey Deal....spend $25 in one transaction and get a free bird.
This year Price Chopper has upped the ante tho....spend $50 in one transaction and get a free bird.
Egads!
Doubled the qualifying price!!
And I don't even like turkey so I am so not liking this deal and tempted to eat chicken this year instead.lol
That's about it for now from my corner of the world.
What's new in yours?
Sluggy
Does this daughter that doesn't want to be part of your family expect you to pay for college? Or assist with college?
ReplyDeleteI am afraid she would be getting nothing from me if she acted like that.
I am sorry you are having to deal with that. And congrats to the band!
Did I understand you are sending her packing before she graduates from high school? There has got to be a better way. In this state a parent is legally responsible for a child until age 19 even though everyone thinks it is 18. It is while the child is 18. She is not old enough to legally have a car in her name, so if she is paying for one or driving a car you furnish, get the keys! Use her currency. EX: my daughter takes the cell from her son.When I snatched roller skating from my 12 yr old, he became much nicer about 98% of the time. Make her birthday gift very slim.
ReplyDeleteI would not withhold college, but I would not make her life so easy until she leaves for college. She will be so much nicer when she leaves for school. She might even miss you.
My friend's child (16) was going to leave home with her car, her credit card, her checkbook, etc. Her mother told her all that belonged to the mother and father. So, pack only a suitcase and leave...lol. I would not recommend that. But, children have this inflated idea of who they are and their "rights."
If she has been this way for 5 years, and you permitted it, you have been teaching her how to treat you. Sorry, it had to be said.
Congratulations on the band successes.
I'm sorry about your daughter's attitude issues! I'd say that you should send her here to PSU and I'll whip her into shape, but odds are I wouldn't be any good at the whipping-into-shape part (just ask my son - LOL!).
ReplyDeleteMy foray into the turkey deal realm was a total joke this year. The one downside to getting all my groceries for pennies on the dollar thanks to double $1 coupons is that my grand total in the need-300-points deal is *drumroll* 87. LOL! No free turkey for me! That's okay, though, because I had an extra one from earlier this year in the freezer that I plan to thaw, so we'll still have our free turkey for Turkey Day (whew!).
In response to a previous post. The age of majority, he age when a person acquires all the rights and responsibilities of being an adult, may be different in different states. In Texas it is 18.
ReplyDeleteWhile I agree that making one's child move out seems like a tough thing, if said child is verbally abusive and is affecting the health of the rest of the family, sometimes making them move out is the only option.
As for depriving her of college...no one is owed a college education. It is a priviledge and if a child expects their parents to help them, they should not treat their parents badly.
And while is it possbible that your daughter's behavior is because you allowed it, it is equally possible that this is just the way she is. My parents raised all 5 of us exactly the same and I have a sister who was a teenage terror to my parents. She moved out when she was 16.
I hope it gets better for you soon, Sluggy.
I'm so sorry about your daughter. My son is exactly the same way right now. He's 19 and living with a friend. Hopefully he'll grow up a bit more and realize body piercings, tattoos and the friends he hangs out with are not going to help him succeed at anything.
ReplyDeleteAt least your daughter has good grades and got into college! Good for her! I hope things get better.
Frances--Thanks for your comments. I am with you on not helping an ungrateful child. But Hubs is an old softee and would cave in with the cash no matter her behavior, so she knows she has a 50/50 change of getting the college $ anyway.lol
ReplyDeleteI guess we are just having a rocky patch with her and given time, the aliens will leave her when the teen yrs are over...hopefully.lol Not that this will change her totally since she has always been this way to a lesser degree. I just know that when she gets out in the world, she is going to have some problems dealing with others. Maybe she'll realize we aren't so bad then.lol
Practical P--Thanks for your comments as well. But Frances hit the nail when she said my Daughter has always been this way. She was born this way. We've nutured all the kids similarly but Daughter's make-up/tendencies have brought about her current behaviors/attitudes. The other 2 kids never(or haven't yet)turned out like this. I think her problem at least partly stems from her intellect and her emotional make-up. She is 'special' on the upper end of that spectrum. Everyone knows/acknowledges that kids who diverge from the 'norm' below that norm are special and require extra attention in emotional/educational/mental health/etc. support. But kids who are above the norm(the gifted, the emotionally precocious, etc.)also require and behave differently, yet outside of a few enrichment programs in school, there is little support to help to deal with these kids. Gifted children often grow up to be unproductive, self-centered adults....some develop their sociapathic tendencies as well.
While you have to nuture them as you would all your other children, there are more demands on you when dealing with them. And sometimes you don't realize how you need to approach these kids until after the fact...or you have to try many different things until you find the right one. I know I haven't been a perfect parent but I have tried.
Pretty--Be careful what you ask for(whipping Daughter into shape)because if she gets into PSU main campus(and there is her 1st choice), you may just get it.lol
You are as pitiful as me with your 87 points.lolol
McVal--Wouldn't it be nice if all kids could 'find themselves' quickly and get busy with achieving in life?lol Your son will find his way eventually, even if he does it marching to his own drummer. I think my #2 son is a bit like your son so I'll keep tabs on how yours works through these young adult years. ;-)