* WARNING*
This post contains talk about a medical procedure and the subject of poop. If this is offensive to you, please stop reading now and move on.
Thank you-The Managment
I survived my colonoscopy.
Or rather.....I survived my colonoscopy Prep.....oh, and the procedure too. lol
After a fitful night's sleep, where I only got about 4 hours of shut eye, I was up bright and early at 7:30am Friday so I could drink my second bottle of PowerAde with a full week's worth of laxative in it.
This hour wasn't nearly as bad as the first bottle at 6pm on Thursday evening which also had 7 days worth of Miralax in it.
By 6:30pm, when I was halfway through the first bottle of deliciousness on Thursday, things started gurgling and happening in my nether region.
Let's just say a combination of FOUR ducolax(which I was required to swallow at 3pm that afternoon), and 7 day's worth of Miralax at 6pm in a PowerAde solution gave rise to an Assplosion.
Yes, if you used the term "explosive diarrhea" here, you wouldn't be too far off........
It was NOT pretty y'all and y'all would have been correct to look at me with sorrow in your eyes and exclaim, "Well, bless her heart". ;-)
The rest of the evening involved much time in the "small room" sitting on my throne.
By comparison, Friday morning's bottle of fun was a piece. of. cake.
Mmmmm.......cake.
Poor choice of words for someone who hasn't eaten since Wednesday evening......
I was worried because the literature they had me read about this procedure mentioned that if you weren't "cleaned out enough" for it, and the doctor couldn't see your innards well enough, then you'd have to go through this again in the near future.
I so didn't want to have to experience this thrill again anytime soon, but I figured since it's me.....who has to do everything the hard way.....my prep wouldn't be adequate so the doc could get the job done the first time!
Especially since I was still, how shall we phrase this?......"leaking" all the way to the hospital.
!!!
I carried a Ziploc bag with 2, count 'em 2, pairs of fresh underwear with me, plus a couple of feminine pads(things I haven't needed to use for years now!), because I just knew I'd cough or stand up too fast or something and would soil myself.
But my fears didn't come to fruition thankfully.
The nurses and doctors were professional and prompt and it was one of the better medical interventions/experiences of my life.
Oh, and the drugs were awesome.......
I don't remember a thing but I came out of sedation quickly, while I was still in the operating room actually. No dizziness(other than my usual hehehe)and no grogginess.
But I sure looked like hell......but nothing new there.....lol
Sluggy giving the thumbs up sign....notice my fancy jewelry bracelets......they might not be purty but they sure is expensive!
And after the doctor said everything looked good and I didn't have to come back for another 5 years....
Damn, I need to tough up my roots again.
And yes, I am that crazy woman who brings a camera to a colonoscopy and takes photos of herself. 8-)
So everything went well as can be expected and Hubs took me to a Chinese Buffet for a late lunch/early dinner afterwards. I haven't been to a buffet restaurant since Christmas of 2012 actually as that sort of eating situation and that sort of food is basically off my L/S diet.
But this was a special occasion.
Thankfully I didn't pull a Homer Simpson and restrained myself.
This post contains talk about a medical procedure and the subject of poop. If this is offensive to you, please stop reading now and move on.
Thank you-The Managment
I survived my colonoscopy.
Or rather.....I survived my colonoscopy Prep.....oh, and the procedure too. lol
After a fitful night's sleep, where I only got about 4 hours of shut eye, I was up bright and early at 7:30am Friday so I could drink my second bottle of PowerAde with a full week's worth of laxative in it.
This hour wasn't nearly as bad as the first bottle at 6pm on Thursday evening which also had 7 days worth of Miralax in it.
By 6:30pm, when I was halfway through the first bottle of deliciousness on Thursday, things started gurgling and happening in my nether region.
Let's just say a combination of FOUR ducolax(which I was required to swallow at 3pm that afternoon), and 7 day's worth of Miralax at 6pm in a PowerAde solution gave rise to an Assplosion.
Yes, if you used the term "explosive diarrhea" here, you wouldn't be too far off........
It was NOT pretty y'all and y'all would have been correct to look at me with sorrow in your eyes and exclaim, "Well, bless her heart". ;-)
The rest of the evening involved much time in the "small room" sitting on my throne.
By comparison, Friday morning's bottle of fun was a piece. of. cake.
Mmmmm.......cake.
Poor choice of words for someone who hasn't eaten since Wednesday evening......
I was worried because the literature they had me read about this procedure mentioned that if you weren't "cleaned out enough" for it, and the doctor couldn't see your innards well enough, then you'd have to go through this again in the near future.
I so didn't want to have to experience this thrill again anytime soon, but I figured since it's me.....who has to do everything the hard way.....my prep wouldn't be adequate so the doc could get the job done the first time!
Especially since I was still, how shall we phrase this?......"leaking" all the way to the hospital.
!!!
I carried a Ziploc bag with 2, count 'em 2, pairs of fresh underwear with me, plus a couple of feminine pads(things I haven't needed to use for years now!), because I just knew I'd cough or stand up too fast or something and would soil myself.
But my fears didn't come to fruition thankfully.
The nurses and doctors were professional and prompt and it was one of the better medical interventions/experiences of my life.
Oh, and the drugs were awesome.......
I don't remember a thing but I came out of sedation quickly, while I was still in the operating room actually. No dizziness(other than my usual hehehe)and no grogginess.
But I sure looked like hell......but nothing new there.....lol
Sluggy giving the thumbs up sign....notice my fancy jewelry bracelets......they might not be purty but they sure is expensive!
And after the doctor said everything looked good and I didn't have to come back for another 5 years....
Damn, I need to tough up my roots again.
And yes, I am that crazy woman who brings a camera to a colonoscopy and takes photos of herself. 8-)
So everything went well as can be expected and Hubs took me to a Chinese Buffet for a late lunch/early dinner afterwards. I haven't been to a buffet restaurant since Christmas of 2012 actually as that sort of eating situation and that sort of food is basically off my L/S diet.
But this was a special occasion.
Thankfully I didn't pull a Homer Simpson and restrained myself.
But goodness!
I had two whole plates of food and I don't think I'll need to eat again for a couple of days.....
Well, maybe until lunch on Saturday. lolol
And I had a nice long nap when I got home so now I'll be up until the wee hours of the morning again.....sigh.
So if you are of a "certain age" and you've been putting this off, just go. do. it.
It's not as bad as you've built it up to be in your mind, once you get past the prep stuff.
And they have really awesome drugs........
Sluggy
I touched up my roots today! Hey, I was on my own. TBG was out of town for his brother's open heart surgery.
ReplyDeleteThe nurse getting me set up asked why I was there. I looked at her and said "because I have no choice?" She didn't understand. So I had to tell her "I'm 50."
I too am thrilled it will be another five years. If my damned mother hadn't gotten colon cancer, I'd have been able to wait ten. Parents are such a liability.
I've never had one and I hate drugs so I don't know how well it would go. Well, I can handle weed and Tylenol but I don't know how well either of those would do for the procedure. Glad to hear that things went well and you're good for another five years.
ReplyDeleteIt is the prep I dread. I just refused to have the bottom part done and will have the upper part/down the throat done in a week or so. Since I am bent double with pain that doctor thinks is gall bladder, I do not want to upset anything down there. Okay, maybe that does not make sense. I can just see them wheeling me in for gall bladder removal before the procedure.
ReplyDeleteI will have to set up a cot in the bathroom since I can barely get out of bed. If I tried to get up faster than I am capable of, I would probably lose it all before I could get to the bathroom. That is going to be tricky.
I could not eat out after that. My bowels would still be on empty-her-out mode, especially if the stress made my IBS act up. Or, maybe I am borrowing trouble.
It is good you got it out of the way, so to speak. You deserve an award.
I am sorry you had to go through it but this post is one of the most entertaining of 2013 :) Glad things turned out ok in the end...lol
ReplyDeleteWell Im glad things came out all right in the end! The prep is always the worst part....
ReplyDeleteGlad all is well, that's the main thing. I had an easier prep than you did. Liquid only diet for a day and then drink a small bottle of some nasty lemony drink the night before the procedure.
ReplyDeleteYou really know how to have a good time!!
ReplyDeleteI haven't had the pleasure myself but the calendar keeps flipping....
Glad it turned out well!
Hubby had a colonoscopy done as soon as he turned 50. He said it was not that bad for him...the prep or the procedure.
ReplyDeleteMy mom's colonscopy put her in the hospital for a week.
Me...I'm still thinking about it. I have everything else done on the recommended schedules. This one I am in no hurry for.
That was a wonderful and very realistic post. I'll bed your report will encourage others to have the test done.
ReplyDeleteI've had the procedure done a couple of times. Prep is tedious but the actual test is easy-peasy. It is a miracle that they are able to see inside a person without making an incision. Many times if a polyp is discovered they can take care of it right then.