Have you ever had one of those weeks?
One of those weeks were it was like living in a roller coaster car?
Going from good things to bad things.....going from control to emotions all over the place.....going from knowing what was going on to being cluesless.....going from standing still in calmness to racing about like a headless poultry?
That's the kind of week it's been.
From happy to sad to angry to frustration to looking on the bright side to wanting to stomp the crap out of someone to being in the deepest pitt of despair to sucking on a glass of sangria and feeling no pain.
Ok, enough of the generalizations, let's get to the nitty and the gritty details, shall we?
Daughter is home now fulltime.
She came home and went out the first Monday she got back, looking for a job.
And the first place she applied, she got hired.
Made it look so easy, didn't she?
Even though her cousin, who is/was a senior in High School has been telling Hubs and I that he's been earnestly looking for a parttime job for MONTHS now.
Daughter is only 1 year older than him. She has a little work history but not much.
Some how we now feel he really hasn't been all that earnest in his job search.
Ok, we KNOW he hasn't.
This is the kid who turned his nose up a year ago, when pushed to go out and look for a job, he turned his nose up at working at any fast food establishment, the local grocery store as a cashier, or any other type business that is all about giving teens their first work experience.
Back then, he would only deign to take employment at a mall store like Hollister or Aeropostale or AE Outfitters.
You know, the hoity toity stores that he can't afford to shop at but does.(That would be another long tirade of mine for another time.)
So we are happy for Daughter's new job. Once she is trained she'll be eligible to make commissions on her sales.
Yes, she has dollar sign$ in her eyes.....
She is also dealing with boyfriend troubles and some medical issues that have been going on for the better part of a year and things in that arena came to a head this week.
After the nimrod doctors have not been able to diagnose and treat the ailment for so long, Daughter broke down in frustration. And the doctors started piling on more medications to deal with the new symptons without getting to the root of the original issue.
Which to my non-medical degreed mind, makes little sense.
It's like when old people are on so many medications, each from a different specialist and each specialist doesn't know what the other is prescribing and meds start interfering with each other and causing new problems.
It's that kind of deal.
And I can't convince Daughter of that.
Why anyone would believe a doctor before they'd take the good sense advise of their own mother is beyond me.
So while her Aunt(the Sis-IL) was here we had a heart to heart about what was going on.....since SIL in her younger years dealt with the same issue Daughter is dealing with.
And SIL confirmed my view of the whole situation as being the correct one.
So now I have to convince Daughter to go off of all this medication/treatments and deal with the root problem.
And to trust me for a little bit.
Because I can't deal much longer with what has been passing for normal in her life lately!
Now that Daughter is working pretty much fulltime, I have no car.
She's been driving my car so I have to schedule my driving needs around her schedule.
Which blows.
I've spent this past week trapped at home pretty much with Hub's sister.
And let me tell you.....that was all kinds of special!
I have a feeling we'll be going car shopping for that 3rd beater car shortly after we get back from our trip to Ohio. I hate paying for another car, AND insurance, AND repairs/maintenance but not having access to transportation isn't making me happy.
Now to get to the other issue this past week and why the relatives all came to town.
Yesterday, Friday, was the High School Commencement Ceremony.
The Nephew was suppose to graduate yesterday..
Notice that I said "suppose to".
As of last weekend, we, meaning all the family that wasn't nephew and his father, were under the impression that he was set to graduate with his class.
When one of our clan graduates high school, all the relatives comes to town......the Bro-IL from SC drives up for a few days(after stopping in NJ for a few days), the Sis-IL from IL drives here and spends a week with us.
People go out of their way to plan, spend money to get here and such and attend.
So everyone was set to leave last weekend.
The Nephew calls our house last Sunday afternoon and wants to come over on Monday and "speak with us".
Hubs and I look at each other after he hangs up and tells me who it was.
We said "this isn't good, whatever it is" in unison.
My first thought was that he wanted money or he wanted to come live here for awhile(like he did last summer after he had a big fight with his dad).
In the back of my head I thought, "Maybe he isn't graduating?", but I thought, no, that can't be it. He wouldn't have waited until now to say anything.
Hubs decided to go over immediately and get whatever bad news this was, out of the way.
And that hideous little thought was correct.....Nephew was NOT graduating!
He has fucked up his life once again......He failed Math for the year.
For someone all of barely 18 years old, he has done a huge amount of fucking up his life so far.
But he will be the first to tell you that none of this is his fault and he is the world's biggest victim.
Again, that is a rant for another time.
But I digress....
Now I am sure he KNEW long before the last week of school that he had flunked the subject for the year.
But he waited until less than a week before graduation to say anything.
We still don't know if his father(Hub's brother)KNEW that he wasn't graduating.
His father is how we say, "In his own little world" but it is highly likely that the Nephew just didn't tell him. The school district here has gone paperless, so unless you have a computer and go onto the school's website and make an effort to see what is going on with your kid and their grades, it's very easy for a kid to keep their parent clueless about how they are doing in school. BIL has no computer and besides, he doesn't even know how to use one.
So the Nephew has to take summer school math in July to get his diploma.
And he is not allowed to walk at graduation.
Hubs said nephew tried to make it sound like this was "ok" and he was technically graduating and it was not a big deal.
And that is when Hubs asked him if he was allowed to be in the commencement procession and walk at graduation.
And he was not.
And then Nephew almost got hit.....not because he hid this sort of IMPORTANT news but because
He had the nerve to ask Hubs at this point, "Do you think Aunt Judy(not her real name) is still going to give me my $250 Friday?"
AAAAAAAAAAAAAccccckkkk!
*This Aunt traditionally gives her nieces/nephews $250 when they graduate high school.*
Now I KNOW at this point Hubs was displaying remarkable self-control as the little voice in his head chanted,
"Must control fist of death.....Must control fist of death.....Must control fist of death....."
I think he replied something like, "The only reason why your Aunt and Uncle are coming here is to see you graduate. I hope they haven't left yet! Otherwise they will have spent all this money and time to come here for no reason. Of course she isn't giving you anything, you aren't graduating yet!"
What a stupid inconsiderate little prick......
And yes, the Bro-IL had already left and was in Maryland en route by the time he got back to the message we left. Money wasted on motels and gas for nothing.
But the Sis-IL didn't leave to come here until Monday but she visited anyway. But at least she knew before she left home that there was no graduation to go to and she'd be saving herself $250. ;-)
On Thursday, Hubs and I took the whole extended family out to Bob Evans for dinner. Partly so I didn't have to cook one night and to give me a break. And partly because he is too good to his siblings because anytime we go anywhere with them, they never offer to pay for themselves or anyone else. That drives me bonkers and has led me to voice many snitty remarks about his family to him.
Ok, I am evil but I think in this case, it is warranted. ;-)
So on Thursday, Hubs called his brother(the father of the Nephew)to remind him of what time to come over so we can go out to dinner altogther.
Do you know what Bro-IL says to Hubs on the phone?
"Oh, do you want me to pick up a cake for the party?"
WTF?!?!?
A little background info.....a few weeks ago, Hubs had offered to let the father of Nephew to use our house for the little coffee and cake party after Graduation that is traditionally held in the family for the graduate. Since Bro-IL and Nephew live in an apartment that is nasty filthy and ready for an episode of Hoarders since they haven't cleaned it since they moved in 5 years ago, we thought for everyone's health we'd have the party here.
Hubs told his brother if he wanted to get a cake, we would do coffee and host the graduation party.
Yes, delusional, self-involved Bro-IL thinks there is a graduation party after dinner at our house for Nephew, who is NOT graduating.
I heard Hubs end of the conversation that went like this....let's call Bro-IL Rick(not his real name).....
"Rick, hey, be over our house at 6 so we can all carpool down to Bob Evans for dinner, ok?"
****
"What?!"
****
"Rick!"
****
"Rick! What are you talking about a cake for? There IS no graduation! He isn't graduating and there is no party!!!" And Hubs turned and gave me a look....
****
"We'll see you at 6"....click.....
Sometimes talking to the people in this family is like trying to have a conversation with a mental patient.
And that's all I'm saying about it for now.
It's Saturday and the week is over and the relatives are all gone.
Now I just have to deal with the normal insanity in my own little family here.
One more week until we take #2 Son to Camp and go on our little Vacation into the Wilds of Ohio......
Lord give me a grip and help me hang on until then!
Sluggy
One of those weeks were it was like living in a roller coaster car?
Going from good things to bad things.....going from control to emotions all over the place.....going from knowing what was going on to being cluesless.....going from standing still in calmness to racing about like a headless poultry?
That's the kind of week it's been.
From happy to sad to angry to frustration to looking on the bright side to wanting to stomp the crap out of someone to being in the deepest pitt of despair to sucking on a glass of sangria and feeling no pain.
Ok, enough of the generalizations, let's get to the nitty and the gritty details, shall we?
Daughter is home now fulltime.
She came home and went out the first Monday she got back, looking for a job.
And the first place she applied, she got hired.
Made it look so easy, didn't she?
Even though her cousin, who is/was a senior in High School has been telling Hubs and I that he's been earnestly looking for a parttime job for MONTHS now.
Daughter is only 1 year older than him. She has a little work history but not much.
Some how we now feel he really hasn't been all that earnest in his job search.
Ok, we KNOW he hasn't.
This is the kid who turned his nose up a year ago, when pushed to go out and look for a job, he turned his nose up at working at any fast food establishment, the local grocery store as a cashier, or any other type business that is all about giving teens their first work experience.
Back then, he would only deign to take employment at a mall store like Hollister or Aeropostale or AE Outfitters.
You know, the hoity toity stores that he can't afford to shop at but does.(That would be another long tirade of mine for another time.)
So we are happy for Daughter's new job. Once she is trained she'll be eligible to make commissions on her sales.
Yes, she has dollar sign$ in her eyes.....
She is also dealing with boyfriend troubles and some medical issues that have been going on for the better part of a year and things in that arena came to a head this week.
After the nimrod doctors have not been able to diagnose and treat the ailment for so long, Daughter broke down in frustration. And the doctors started piling on more medications to deal with the new symptons without getting to the root of the original issue.
Which to my non-medical degreed mind, makes little sense.
It's like when old people are on so many medications, each from a different specialist and each specialist doesn't know what the other is prescribing and meds start interfering with each other and causing new problems.
It's that kind of deal.
And I can't convince Daughter of that.
Why anyone would believe a doctor before they'd take the good sense advise of their own mother is beyond me.
So while her Aunt(the Sis-IL) was here we had a heart to heart about what was going on.....since SIL in her younger years dealt with the same issue Daughter is dealing with.
And SIL confirmed my view of the whole situation as being the correct one.
So now I have to convince Daughter to go off of all this medication/treatments and deal with the root problem.
And to trust me for a little bit.
Because I can't deal much longer with what has been passing for normal in her life lately!
Now that Daughter is working pretty much fulltime, I have no car.
She's been driving my car so I have to schedule my driving needs around her schedule.
Which blows.
I've spent this past week trapped at home pretty much with Hub's sister.
And let me tell you.....that was all kinds of special!
I have a feeling we'll be going car shopping for that 3rd beater car shortly after we get back from our trip to Ohio. I hate paying for another car, AND insurance, AND repairs/maintenance but not having access to transportation isn't making me happy.
Now to get to the other issue this past week and why the relatives all came to town.
Yesterday, Friday, was the High School Commencement Ceremony.
The Nephew was suppose to graduate yesterday..
Notice that I said "suppose to".
As of last weekend, we, meaning all the family that wasn't nephew and his father, were under the impression that he was set to graduate with his class.
When one of our clan graduates high school, all the relatives comes to town......the Bro-IL from SC drives up for a few days(after stopping in NJ for a few days), the Sis-IL from IL drives here and spends a week with us.
People go out of their way to plan, spend money to get here and such and attend.
So everyone was set to leave last weekend.
The Nephew calls our house last Sunday afternoon and wants to come over on Monday and "speak with us".
Hubs and I look at each other after he hangs up and tells me who it was.
We said "this isn't good, whatever it is" in unison.
My first thought was that he wanted money or he wanted to come live here for awhile(like he did last summer after he had a big fight with his dad).
In the back of my head I thought, "Maybe he isn't graduating?", but I thought, no, that can't be it. He wouldn't have waited until now to say anything.
Hubs decided to go over immediately and get whatever bad news this was, out of the way.
And that hideous little thought was correct.....Nephew was NOT graduating!
He has fucked up his life once again......He failed Math for the year.
For someone all of barely 18 years old, he has done a huge amount of fucking up his life so far.
But he will be the first to tell you that none of this is his fault and he is the world's biggest victim.
Again, that is a rant for another time.
But I digress....
Now I am sure he KNEW long before the last week of school that he had flunked the subject for the year.
But he waited until less than a week before graduation to say anything.
We still don't know if his father(Hub's brother)KNEW that he wasn't graduating.
His father is how we say, "In his own little world" but it is highly likely that the Nephew just didn't tell him. The school district here has gone paperless, so unless you have a computer and go onto the school's website and make an effort to see what is going on with your kid and their grades, it's very easy for a kid to keep their parent clueless about how they are doing in school. BIL has no computer and besides, he doesn't even know how to use one.
So the Nephew has to take summer school math in July to get his diploma.
And he is not allowed to walk at graduation.
Hubs said nephew tried to make it sound like this was "ok" and he was technically graduating and it was not a big deal.
And that is when Hubs asked him if he was allowed to be in the commencement procession and walk at graduation.
And he was not.
And then Nephew almost got hit.....not because he hid this sort of IMPORTANT news but because
He had the nerve to ask Hubs at this point, "Do you think Aunt Judy(not her real name) is still going to give me my $250 Friday?"
AAAAAAAAAAAAAccccckkkk!
*This Aunt traditionally gives her nieces/nephews $250 when they graduate high school.*
Now I KNOW at this point Hubs was displaying remarkable self-control as the little voice in his head chanted,
"Must control fist of death.....Must control fist of death.....Must control fist of death....."
I think he replied something like, "The only reason why your Aunt and Uncle are coming here is to see you graduate. I hope they haven't left yet! Otherwise they will have spent all this money and time to come here for no reason. Of course she isn't giving you anything, you aren't graduating yet!"
What a stupid inconsiderate little prick......
And yes, the Bro-IL had already left and was in Maryland en route by the time he got back to the message we left. Money wasted on motels and gas for nothing.
But the Sis-IL didn't leave to come here until Monday but she visited anyway. But at least she knew before she left home that there was no graduation to go to and she'd be saving herself $250. ;-)
On Thursday, Hubs and I took the whole extended family out to Bob Evans for dinner. Partly so I didn't have to cook one night and to give me a break. And partly because he is too good to his siblings because anytime we go anywhere with them, they never offer to pay for themselves or anyone else. That drives me bonkers and has led me to voice many snitty remarks about his family to him.
Ok, I am evil but I think in this case, it is warranted. ;-)
So on Thursday, Hubs called his brother(the father of the Nephew)to remind him of what time to come over so we can go out to dinner altogther.
Do you know what Bro-IL says to Hubs on the phone?
"Oh, do you want me to pick up a cake for the party?"
WTF?!?!?
A little background info.....a few weeks ago, Hubs had offered to let the father of Nephew to use our house for the little coffee and cake party after Graduation that is traditionally held in the family for the graduate. Since Bro-IL and Nephew live in an apartment that is nasty filthy and ready for an episode of Hoarders since they haven't cleaned it since they moved in 5 years ago, we thought for everyone's health we'd have the party here.
Hubs told his brother if he wanted to get a cake, we would do coffee and host the graduation party.
Yes, delusional, self-involved Bro-IL thinks there is a graduation party after dinner at our house for Nephew, who is NOT graduating.
I heard Hubs end of the conversation that went like this....let's call Bro-IL Rick(not his real name).....
"Rick, hey, be over our house at 6 so we can all carpool down to Bob Evans for dinner, ok?"
****
"What?!"
****
"Rick!"
****
"Rick! What are you talking about a cake for? There IS no graduation! He isn't graduating and there is no party!!!" And Hubs turned and gave me a look....
****
"We'll see you at 6"....click.....
Sometimes talking to the people in this family is like trying to have a conversation with a mental patient.
And that's all I'm saying about it for now.
It's Saturday and the week is over and the relatives are all gone.
Now I just have to deal with the normal insanity in my own little family here.
One more week until we take #2 Son to Camp and go on our little Vacation into the Wilds of Ohio......
Lord give me a grip and help me hang on until then!
Sluggy
This story was awesome, Sluggy! Well, I know it didn't feel awesome for you. But you told it so well.
ReplyDeleteYou can choose your friends, but not your relatives. Sad. Life would be so much easier, if you could.
ReplyDeleteSluggy, I know you have $250 in the bank. Please take it out, in big bills and prance back in forth in front of your idiot nephew with it. Then you can put it back in the bank.
ReplyDeleteIt took me an extra semester to finish college because of a credit miscalculation on the registrar's part. I could have walked and gotten an empty packet with no degree in it just for show. I opted not to. I worked instead that day. I did get my degree in the mail.... postage due. He'll survive but you ought to be able to get some fun out of it.
Dealing with so much crap would make anyone's head spin. I hope that your daughter gets straightened out soon. I have no respect for doctors anymore. They are clueless and just medicate someone to the point of being crazy. Dr. Sonya says to go to the nearest health food store and try an all natural approach.
ReplyDeleteAs far as the simple nephew, I have the feeling that you ain't seen nothing yet!
What a week. I'm glad it's finally over...
ReplyDeleteI hope your daughter listens to you about the meds. This is not good.
ReplyDeleteWow! The whole nephew story is incredible. I really think a student should be allowed to walk, but no money and no party, just a slap with the mortarboard! It seems as though the father is part of the problem with nephew.
You may have married the only same or centered person in the family.
You tell a good story, but I am still waiting for the tales of the picky eaters.
I may be mean, but daughter would be dropped off at work! The car just sits are her job all day when you could be using it for your own sanity. Are you sure that she needs to jeopardize your insurance and finances by driving on so many meds, some of which sound like meds to deal with meds?
You could publish this stuff! Somehow, I don't feel so lonely anymore!
*shaking my head with my hand over my eyes*
ReplyDelete444--Yes, it's a perverse silver lining here....at least I get some fodder for blog posts out of my pain and suffering.lol
ReplyDeleteFeather Duster--Amen. If I could choose I'd probably pick some folks that would turn out being WORSE than this lot. That would be the universe's twisted joke on me. ;-)
Alex M.--Rolling around nekkid in the cash would just be lost on him.
I can't say he'll survive and get his degree in time. Last year, he decided to not go to school and flunked History for the year and had to finish it in summer school. He then decided he didn't need to show up for summer school and almost flunked the summer school class. The child is the laziest piece of crap on the planet. He is thinks the world owes him and he wants the best there is but he is a victim and nothing is his own fault.
You can thank his father for this. This kid will be a drain on society and every taxpayer for the rest of his miserable life.
If my hubs didn't make me stay out of it, I would have reported his father as unfit to parent to social services years ago and had him removed from the home.
SonyaAnn--The daughter has a touch of the hypocondriac like my mother did. She needs a big dose of skepticism about doctors and their god-like ways and she'll be fine.
The nephew is a train wreck waiting to get worse. When his father dies, he will hit bottom. I sure hope bottom gets him right but I am not sure it will.
Practical P--I KNOW I married the only non-delusional one in the bunch. 4 siblings and 3 aren't quite right in the head. And their parents were so normal and down to earth and had "it going on". I think the only one who paid attention was Hubs. lol
Annie--It's horrible to watch but you can't help yourself. And it's going to get even "better".....mark my words.
OMG! This is SO much better than tv.
ReplyDeleteHope you get to have a little peace for a while.