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Friday, January 29, 2010

LEFT BRAIN MAN....Don't Argue Pork Products with a G.R.I.T.S.


First off, let me say that I am married to a wonderful man.
Ok....some days I want to strangle said wonderful man, because who among us hasn't been there?....but he is wonderful nonetheless.

But......
he is also a "Left Brain".

If you have no idea what I mean, go check out THIS before you read further.

So one morning this past weekend, I asked the family what they wanted me to cook them for breakfast.
It was a rare day when we all....er, most of us were up early enough to eat breakfast.

#2 son asked for sausage patties.  Other than his sister's 'special' turkey sausage patties I said we were fresh out.
Left Brain chimed in that we did indeed have a roll of sausage meat in the freezer.
I sweetly replied that he was mistaken, that there was no sausage meat appropriate for serving at breakfast.

With that gauntlet flung down at his feet, he marched into the garage, rummaged around in the freezer(there goes all my organizing!)and came back triumphant with 2 rolls of sausage meat.
I looked at the first roll and said, "Now you can't fix that, it's italian sausage."

Hubby has a large dose of Sicilian blood coursing through his veins but after I mentioned it, even he realized that Italian sausage may not be quite socially acceptable before noon....outside the borders of Italy.
So he holds up the second roll, secure in his feeling that he was still triumphant!
Yes, it is JIMMY DEAN SAUSAGE printed on the wrapper but it also said SAGE SAUSAGE on the roll.
"SAGE?"
"Really??"
I shook my head.

I had to explain.....
"Honey, this sausage has SAGE in it.....it is for making Stuffing, not for eating with your pancakes and syrup."

He just looked at me like I had spoken in Portugese.....not comprehending.
"But why can't we have it for breakfast?", came the reply eventually.

"Because it's full of SAGE!  It's not seasoned for breakfast eating."

He wouldn't back down, insisting this sausage would be a tasty treat with eggs and french toast.

I finally had to put my GRITS foot down....

"HONEY!.....Where I come from, You don't eat SAGE SAUSAGE for Breakfast!  I'm from the SOUTH.....I KNOW my pork products!  No self-respecting Southerner would eat this stuff for breakfast....It's just not done!!"

With that bit of throwing the Hog around, he backed down.

I guess my Left Brained Yankee husband saw the better part of valor by not provoking me further and escalating this into one of our Battle Between the States Discussions that always ends with  yelling, slamming doors and threats of sleeping on the sofa.

Yankee....0
Southern GRITS Gal....1

Sluggy

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